IELTS - Work is the most important thing in life?

Hello everyone, I am a new one here, and I am going to have an IELTS exam next month. Could you please revise my IELTS essay? Thank you very much.

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Some people think that work is the most important thing of people’s life. Without the success of career, life will become meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is widely believed that the foremost thing in life is work, so only having a successful career would lead to a meaningful life. From my perspective, I totally agree with this opinion, and will give my reasons below.

Firstly, carving out a great career is the most effective way to enhance a person’s living quality. It is undeniable that the better careers people have, the higher income they generate. For instance, a recent study by Banking Academy of Vietnam found that the salary of the CEO of Vietcombank in 2018 registered approximately 100,000 US dollars per year, in comparison with only about 13,000 US dollars of an average teller. Thanks to this higher income, they will be able to increase their quality of life with a larger amount of money spent on education and healthcare services.

Secondly, a prosperous career also has the ability to improve a person’s social status. Perhaps the best example of this is Barack Obama, who is one of the most well-known politicians all over the world. He had a distinguished political career as the 44th president of the US from 2009 to 2017. This can be further seen in the fact that during his term in office, America’s soft power and reputation abroad considerably improved. He, with his brilliant career, always is respected by both the US residents and the oversea ones, even after he left office and retired in 2017. This demonstrates, I believe that high social status is attached to career success.

In conclusion, it seems to me that work plays a vital role in people’s life; therefore, it is essential for them to advance their careers successfully due to the above-mentioned two reasons.

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Hi Dzungta welcome to our forum. Why do you think your essay needs to be revised? Who do you think will read it and why?

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