IELTS Task 2 - Keep studying or find a job

Hi Luschen, here is my new IELTS task 2 essay. Now I try to use more native collocations which is, I think, better than complicated structure or difficult vocabulary. Could you please revise my work? Thank you in advance.

Topic: Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school.

After finishing school, teenagers usually find it difficult to answer the question of whether to get a job or study higher. While there are some advantages to find an occupation right after school, I believe that it is better to attend college or university.

There are several reasons why starting work after school is tempting to youngsters. First, when young students start to earn money, it makes them feel a degree of independence and helps them gain experience through real-life situations. This kind of experience may also be valueless lessons that they have never learnt at school, which guides them on the route to success sooner than their peers. Furthermore, if they can make enough money to afford a house, they will settle down earlier and have a happy family without any concern about inadequate finance budget their children.

On the other hand, I would argue that it is more beneficial for students to pursuit higher education. One main reason is that some jobs put candidates’ academic qualifications but not real-life experience on top priority. Such professions related to finance field as accountant and financial consultant even require an international degree in order to be accepted in the competitive job market. Another benefit of studying university is that students have a chance to expand their specialized knowledge in a certain domain, which will bring them higher salaries than those who do not have any qualification in the future.

In conclusion, I am of the opinion that students are more likely to be successful in their career if they get a specific university degree.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a professor and his assistant

Hi Lemin, I thought you did a great job on this. Most of your collocations seemed very natural, though you did have some other errors in grammar and structure that were somewhat noticeable. Also, you use of valueless was a pretty big blunder. With just a few corrections, this would be a solid band 7, but I don’t think it is quite there as it stands.

Hi Luschen, can I ask you a question?
What is the difference between “regarding, with/in regard to, according to, in term of, in accordance to”? I am not quite sure about how to use these things.
Thank you for your big help.

This might be a question better to be asked in the grammar forum, but to me “regarding” and “with/in regard to” are usually interchangeable and have the exact same meaning. “According to” and “in accordance with” are also similar, but “in accordance with” sounds a lot more formal and would usually refer to following written instructions, while “according to” can be use either for something written or for someone’s command or opinion. So “according to Lemin, the TOEFL is difficult” is fine, but “in accordance with Lemin, the TOEFL is difficult” sounds pretty odd.

Also, we don’t say “in accordance to”, it is always “in accordance with”.