Ielts task 2 for check, Thanks in advance.

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

Many young people work as a volunteer in their free time in order to make contribution to the society. Although we admire these kinds of help, I do not agree that we should therefore force all teenagers to do the unpaid work.

Most of young people are under great pressure with their studies, we have no right to press more responsibility on their shoulders. As all teenagers have to focus on their school work, they have spent most of the times on studying. Moreover, Youngsters do not have enough energy to handle both learning and working while the tasks and examinations are increasingly difficult. Thus, I do not think young people should be required to do unpaid work in their free time because the mission of improving their knowledge level is more crucial at that moment.

At the same time, I believe that it would not benefit the society by forcing teenagers to work for free. Anything against people’s wills would not bring much advantage. For example, if we set a rule to regulate the young people to work without paying, no one would take benefit from it. However, we need not to hinder some teenagers do volunteering by their own choice, on the contrary, we should even encourage them.

All in all, teenagers may make their own choice to do unpaid work, but in my opinion we should not turn the good into displeasing by compulsion.

TOEFL listening lectures: A university lecture by a professor of Art History

I agree not to force all teenagers to do the unpaid work.

Hi, I thought your writing was pretty good. Your grammar is excellent, although your vocabulary and sentence structures tend to be a bit simple. The essay overall seemed a bit short without really enough examples or explanation to truly prove your points. You also had a few phrases that sounded a bit awkward. Overall, I would rate this a 3.5 out of 5.