Hi Luschen, it is my new IELTS essay. Could you please take some times to revise it? Thank you in advance. Your great works encourage me a lot.
Topic: In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.
It is clear that the number of old people in rich countries has seen an dramatic increase in recent decades. Although this trend may produce some negative outcomes, societies can take steps to mitigate these potential problems.
Several related problems could be predicted when the countries’ population are ageing. Firstly, an increase in the number of retired people results in a rise of states’ budget for pension. Secondly, as humans is ageing, many related health problems arise, so that governments need to allocate a large amount of money to healthcare system and facilities. In other words, a greying population means a greater tax burden on working adult who may be too busy to be able to look after their older relatives. Finally, an ageing population can attribute to slow development of nations’ economy.
A variety of measures could be taken to address the problems. One possible solution is that governments should enact a law that prolongs the working age. People, therefore, may have retire later, and they are capable to working longer. To fulfill this purpose, states should also apportion an increasing amount of budget in medical advances and health programmes in order to help the elderly stay healthy. Another solution is that governments could encourage immigration from third world nations, who are hungry for job opportunities, to some extent. As a result, a rising number of working force contributes to more money in taxes that governments receive to improve healthcare infrastructure.
In conclusion, various measures can be taken to tackle these potential problems in relation to the growing elder population.
Hi Lemin, I thought your essay was very good, but for some reason it didn’t quite “grab me” Your introduction was not that creative and your first body paragraph seemed a little like a list. Finally, your introduction did not seem that creative. I guess I am being picky because your grammar and vocabulary are very good with only a few minor errors. I am not sure how picky the official graders would be on style, but for me it is not quite a band 8.