IELTS Task 2: Benefits and disadvantages of working from homes

[paulthephoenix]

Question: Today people can work anywhere they want because of the improvement in communication technology & transport. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Hi everyone, first time I post here, hope to receive comments from you guys. My aim is Band 7.

It is true that the latest development in technology and transportation allows people to live and work in a wider range of location. Although there are some major drawbacks, I believe that these are outweighed by the benefits.

There are two major disadvantages associated with this trend. Working from home is believed by some people to reduce the collaboration between colleagues. The highly dependent on the Internet, to a certain extent, may pose as many threats as the benefits it could bring. For instance, if there is a problem with the connection, office employees can still have face-to-face communication to disseminate information; whereas, a remote worker may have no option but to wait, an action which could make him miss the deadline. Another shortcoming of working from home could be the energy waste it may produce. There has been a considerably common mindset that the electricity bill in your house may increase if you choose to be a freelancer at home.

Notwithstanding all the above disadvantages, my firm conviction is that the benefits are more significant. Doing the job at home save us an incredible amount of time commuting to and from the office. On average, in Ho Chi Minh City, for instance, it could take up 1.5 hours a day for a person to get to work. With the possibility of remote working and virtual offices, the waste time could be spent on something more meaningful in life such as families and friends. Moreover, working from home also helps mitigate the housing problem in big cities. When people don’t have to be present at the office everyday, it is highly likely that they will choose to settle in the rural area where the real estate’s value is not as extortionate as the city center’s. As a result, there will be less pollution and traffic congestion in the city.

In conclusion, it seems to me that the advantages of this trend are more significant than the disadvantages. It is expected that companies and goverments across the world will employ this advanced working from home model in the near future.

[Yanina]

Great piece of writing! Great vocabulary and grammar control. Well done. Some things that caught my eye:

…range of locations…
…High dependence on …, to a certain extent, may pose…
______, whereas ________
doing the job at home saves …
it can take up to …
_____, such as family and friends.

Some words and expressions are too “elaborate”. For example, in “face-to-face communication to disseminate information” the word “disseminate” can be replaced by “discuss” or similar.

“Notwithstanding” sounds too “elaborate” as well. How about just “despite?”

From what I have learned from my experience of learning English, the best pieces of writing are so simple in their organization and vocabulary. Take Hemingway, so simple but so powerful.

Good luck with your learning English!
Once again, a wonderful writing effort!

Yanina.

[Luschen]

Hi Paul, welcome to the forum. I think your body paragraphs addressed the topic well, but your introduction did not. Just reading your introduction, it sounds like you are talking about houses and workplaces being built in various places, maybe like factories built in the countryside instead of in cities or houses built on mountaintops. It is not until I get to your body paragraphs that I realize you are talking about working from home or telecommuting. I would try to make sure your introduction and thesis match the rest of your essay more explicitly. Otherwise, your writing is very clear and natural for the most part. I thought your vocabulary was good apart from a few word choices. Here are some specific comments:

@paulthephoenix

It is true that the latest [developments] in technology and transportation [allow] people to live and work in a wider range of [locations]. Although there are some major drawbacks [to this phenomenon], I believe that these are outweighed by the benefits.

There are two major disadvantages associated with this trend. Working from home is believed by some people to reduce the collaboration between colleagues. The {you need a noun here - the what? maybe " A work situation highly dependent …"} highly dependent on the Internet, to a certain extent, may pose as many threats as the benefits it could bring. For instance, if there is a problem with the connection, office employees can still have face-to-face communication to disseminate information; whereas, a remote worker may have no option but to wait, an action which could make him miss [a ] deadline. Another shortcoming of working from home could be the energy waste it may produce. There has been a considerably common mindset that the electricity bill in your house may increase if you choose to be a freelancer at home. {this argument is very weak - in fact, a big argument for working at home is reduced fuel consumption by people commuting. A computer and internet connection uses a minuscule amount of electricity - maybe heating and cooling your home while you are there adds a little, but this is still not very convincing to me. I would maybe focus on the lack of camaraderie and the random interactions between employees working in the same office that often lead to creative bursts and new solutions to problems.}

Notwithstanding all the above disadvantages, my firm conviction is that the benefits are more significant. Doing the job at home [saves] us an incredible amount of time commuting to and from the office. On average, in Ho Chi Minh City, for instance, it could take up 1.5 hours a day for a person to get to work. With the possibility of remote working and virtual offices, [this wasted] time could be spent on something more meaningful in life such as families and friends. Moreover, working from home also helps mitigate the housing problem in big cities. When people don’t {avoid using contractions in IELTS essays} have to be present at the office [every day], {“everyday” is an adjective} it is highly likely that they will choose to settle in the rural area where the real estate’s value is not as extortionate {“extortionate” seems very harsh and loaded here, like there is a secret plot behind the high property values - I would use “exorbitant”, which is more neutral} as the city [center]. As a result, there will be less pollution and traffic congestion in the city. {this summary seems to apply mainly to your first reason in the paragraph - pollution and traffic congestion is mainly from commuters, right?}

In conclusion, it seems to me that the advantages of this trend are more significant than the disadvantages. It is expected that companies and [governments] across the world will employ this advanced working from home model in the near future.

[paulthephoenix]

thank you Luschen and Yamina
Is it enough for me to get a 7?
Thank you

[Luschen]

I think if the introduction was a little more on-topic that it would score a band 7.

[Shanthisethuraman]

Good idea for working from home model. But it will not be suitable in all situations since they need to work in work place their employees by considering their co-operation in the work. If we sit at home and do all work, we will sometime be disturbed from the family people and we cannot concentrate in our work and there by you won’t find job total perfection and satisfaction in our work. If we work at a working place, we will do our without disturbance from family members and we will be furnished all office requirements. So my suggestion is that those who cannot mobile themselves to working places for ex.Pregnant women, those who have given child birth, those we are handicapped, and aged people with good knowledge can follow the suggestion of working from home. So my suggestion is all should work in their working places except few people as I mentioned above.

Thank you

S.Shanthi