Hi Luschen, I am a new one here, but I cannot sign in, so I borrow my friend’s nick to post my essay. I am going to have an IELTS exam next week. Could you revise my IELTS essay? Thank you very much.
Topic: Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discussion both views
Graduating from high school, the young often wonder whether they ought to keep on studying further or not. Many people suppose that continuing to study at university or college can be the best way to guarantee their successful career, whereas others believe working right after school is much better.
Working straight after graduation is beneficial in some ways. Firstly, young people are able to earn money as soon as possible. If they finish high school, they will be mature enough to live independently on their own income. It is common sense that having a job can prove one’s maturity. Secondly, a person who chooses to get a job instead of studying higher is likely to progress rapidly in their career. This may bring about a good chance to obtain a lot of real experience and skills for their chosen profession.
On the other hand, there are a variety of reasons why people have a tendency of choosing to continue education after high school. First, a college education will provide young people with more qualifications, which is what most employers expect
these days. University graduates will probably get a much higher salary than those without university education. Furthermore, the job market is becoming more and more competitive. In fact, people would be well-advised to get a degree,
as hundreds of applicants often chase the top jobs. It is an obvious advantage for university graduates. For example, graduate engineers in Vietnam are highly paid and find it easy to get a top job.
In conclusion, it seems evident that both working right after school and choosing to continue higher study are advantageous in their own ways.
Hi, welcome to the forum. It looks like you are well prepared for the IELTS. I had trouble finding any errors or suggestions to improve your essay. Your writing is very natural and your grammar is flawless. Perhaps you could use a little more complex vocabulary, but you already have some good words and they are all used properly. This is definitely band 7 and maybe band 8 depending on how focused the grader is on complexity. Personally, i prefer a clearly written essay like this, so if it was up to me, I would give it an 8.