Hi Luschen,
Kindly rate my IELTS essay on scale of 0-9.
[color=blue]Topic: Nowadays it is easy to apply for and be given a credit card. However, some people experience problems when they are not be able to pay their debts back. In your opinion, do the advantages of credit cards outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, technology has a positive impact on a banking sector and hence traditional banking has been changed dramatically. Even there are numerous money lending products, such as credit cards, are introduced in addition to traditional loan facilities. Consequently, the process of getting a credit card is rather easy and within a reach of a common man. However, people, who spend more than their earnings, definitely face difficulties while paying their credit card bills.
For one, a credit card is a great tool that empowers people to have an easy access to money and as a result people can spend in more convenient and secured way. For instance, last year I went to Europe with my family and we did a lot of shopping by using my credit card. During that period, my son fractured his leg and I paid the emergency and unplanned hospital bills with the help of credit card. Thus, a credit card can be proved as a great tool not only in day-to-day expenditures, but also during the emergency situations.
On the other hand, credit cards encourage people to spend money they do not have. Therefore, debt can build up and leave people in real financial trauma. When people cannot pay their debts back, they may lose their homes or properties and subsequently this affects their credit rating. These kinds of bad debts also directly affect the banks and in tern it halts the financial development of a country. Hence, the disadvantages of credit cards cannot be overlooked.
In a nutshell, there are a number of pros and cons of a credit card and one has to be very vigilant and meticulous while using it. It is hoped that the balanced and controlled use of a credit card will be beneficial to its customers.
Hi, I think you did an excellent job with this essay. A nice introduction and very well organized with good content. You do have some phrases that could be put more naturally, as well as some minor grammar mistakes. Overall, I would rate this a band 7
Even there are [even] numerous money lending products, {this still sounds a little odd, as “there are even” is used to introduce something surprising or unexpected.} such as credit cards, are [being] introduced in addition to traditional loan facilities.
[color=blue]Can be written as : There are numerous money lending products, such as credit cards, being introduced in addition to traditional loan facilities. –> Your suggestion is to use the Passive form of a present continuous tense ? (Ofcourse, I used “are” twice in the sentence, which was incorrect)
2)It is hoped that the balanced and controlled use of a credit card will be beneficial to its customers.{this sounds like the credit card has customers, it is really the bank or credit card company}
[color=blue]Can be written as : It is hoped that the balanced and controlled use of a credit card will be beneficial to credit card users. (I think article “the” is not required before ‘credit card users’.)