i think I have a bunch of errors..

Birds are mean to fly,
But we are meant to die.
Tough times have an upperhand.
But we must scream and stand.

Birds are free to fly wherever they please.
But sometimes they are kept in captivity waiting to be released.
Relate to any of this?

We have the freedom to be who we please,
But yet we are kept imprisoned.
And who we truly are is never at ease.

Birds are meant to fly,

Tough times have the upper hand.

I do not understand the overall connection between some of the themes, and some parts of the content, though not incorrect English, seem a bit random to me. Also, to be honest, the “birds free to fly” metaphor is pretty corny now. Sorry, I do not wish to be too critical of your efforts!

Now you have upset all the penguins and ostriches of the world.

I kind of get whet you are trying to say, but agree with Dozy that it’s clumsy.

Birds are free to fly away,
But we know we all will die some day.
In the tough game of life, we all try to play.

While some birds fly wherever they please,
Others are caged and ill at ease.
Can you relate to either of these?

Though we too are free to fly like geese,
We shackle ourselves, with no release,
And who we are is never really at peace.

It’s not great, just off the top of my head. I tried to keep it the same as yours, just cleaned up a little… maybe. Anyway, it might help.

I’d scratch “really” in the last sentence. Cool job, Thredder!


Me! I think it is great that you tried your hand at writing a poem in English. Keep at it!


I totally agree with all of you. It is not one of my best poems over all. I just threw it out there to hear people’s opinions :slight_smile: Thank you guys for your constructive criticism. I would really appreciate if you guys would check out my other poems and tell me what you think about them :slight_smile:

Thanks again!