Hello, I wrote this essay for a friend of mine, she is in high school and I tried to adjust essay to her age. Can you correct my mistakes,and say if it’s any good? Thanks in advance.
The dearest moments spent with him
It was june 2011, I can clearly evoke every single memory from that day, the day was astoundigly good, it was sunny but not
so sunny that I couldn’t enjoy it, people were suprisingly polite and cheerful that day, all seemed well.
I walked the streets taking standard routes and then I was like, ‘It’s such a good day and it would be really bad to use my standard walking routes’, so I
decided to take other unordinary routes. It turns out that this choice was one of the best I have made.
I spotted a peculiar guy which seemed lost and distraught, it’s not hard to spot a stranger in this town and to recognize that he
doesn’t live here. Few ideas crossed my mind while I was observing him, first was who on the earth will come here as a tourist when
there are thousands better places. Later on I realized that every place on the earth is interesting and it’s a story for itself. Whatsoever,
I didn’t notice that I was observed as well, by him.
He came closer and said something like ‘’ Hello, can I steal a few minutes of your time in order to ask you a few questions?’’
He was very curious about Novi Pazar, architecture, culture, religion, tradition. He was amazed by everything that is connected
with this town. I understood his amazment and curiosity, but I tried to awoke it in myself, was I blind or just I lost interest
in something I am seeing everyday. But truth to be told, I can’t remember that I was ever enthusiastic about my town.
We were walking for hours, talking about almost everything, I was surprised by myself, I am usually a shy person especially in the moments
like this but not then, I was super relaxed and confident and somehow inspired. I don’t want to mention giant butterflies who fought some kind of a battle
in my stomach.
The more he talked the less I was listening, it’s not that I was bored…but I was the one who is amazed now. I was just looking at him,
His silver blonde hair was caressed by a wind that seemed to swirl around with the grace of butterflies and his jade eyes gazed through my soul,
seeing things I couldn’t see myself.
His lips so full, the lower one slightly darker but that made him even more perfect. Yes, absolutely perfect…
I felt like I spent eternity in other dimension, at that moment everything was enhanced. Emotions primarily. I managed to get back in reality
so I can follow the communication between us. We talked about past/present/future about life and love. About everything when I look at it now
I am really not sure how we managed to speak about so much things in only few hours.
I tried to suggest some romantic place so we can go there and continue our discussion but something ‘unpredictable’ has happened.
While we were walking I tripped on something and fell, I think I spent a dozen years laying down there, I wanted to transform into a stone, or to burry a hole
and to jump in it. And something crazy happenend, he tripped as well, and felt just near me,or he did it to make me feel less ashamed.
But while we were lying next to each other giggling and laughing he kissed me. The laugh stopped. Everything stopped, it was just one single kiss
that had a tremendous influence on me.
He helped me to get up, we talked for a few minutes and finally said bye to each other. I was already late for what I came in the first place
few hours flew like a few minutes…
There are moments when I believe it was all just a dream, to hard to believe it was true. But after all, it was a memory that will always bring
a smile on my face and a warmness in my heart.
And thanks for review …I hope I didn’t make much mistakes. Can you tell me where should I pay attention?