Hi Luschen! Long time no see. How are you? Would you mind helping me correct this essay? Thank you very much.
Topic: Some people think that human history has been a journey from ignorance to knowledge. Others argue that this underestimates the achievements of ancient cultures, and overvalues our achievements. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is clear that the cognitive abilities of humanity have evolved over thousands of years, transforming all aspects of life for the better. Although this development appears to push ancient cultures into oblivion, a great deal of effort has been made to preserve their value.
To begin, the advancement of knowledge has turned humans into more well-rounded individuals than the past generations. First, throughout history, it has been a long battle against ignorance that challenges deep-seated beliefs and misconceptions. This has an impact on the whole society as the evolution of cognition allows people to approach problems in a logical way instead of observing with the naked eye or following religious beliefs. For example, our ancestors used to think that the earth was flat until the theory was disapproved by scientific experiments and research. Second, discoveries and inventions of late should not be taken for granted as they are the fruits of great thinkers’ labours. In fact, hopes for an improvement in living standard have become one of the main motivations behind numerous significant breakthroughs that were thought to have been impossible in the past. For instance, unlike the past ones whose communication was limited to written letters and telegrams, the internet has made it easier for people living in modern society to connect with each other and update the latest news regardless of geographical distance.
On the other hand, people have a high appreciation for ancient feats more than ever. Experts, especially on the archaeology, actively doing research in different historic sites, attempt to work out the way the past ones constructed such impressive monuments as the pyramids in Egypt. Thus people get inspired to learn techniques and skills from ancient civilizations, which can be applied to modern architecture. Furthermore, a great deal of effort has been made to preserve the relics of ancient cultures as their value is still immensely admired today. By providing financial aid to build museums, governments around the world can keep artifacts and historic monuments inact, as well as raising public awareness of their own countries’ heritage. For example, my recent visit to the Louvre was a memorable experience. There I had an opportunity to get a glimpse into early civilizations through various collections of artworks and antiquities. I took pictures to show my friends and encouraged them to spend time visiting museums where people learn to treasure the past as much as the present.
In conclusion, the progression of human cognition should be embraced because of its overwhelming advantages. It not only benefits the whole society in different ways but helps preserve the accomplishments of ancient cultures as well.
(I was rather overwhelmed with this topic. To be honest, I spent many hours figuring things out and ended up writing the essay I felt a little bit of awkward. Do you have any tips to open my mind to ideas before writing essays? I really appreciate your help!)
TOEFL listening discussions: Two seminar classmates discussing their classwork