You welcome Conchita 
thanks also, for your help
thanks a lot medeya2012
now, I can build a good imagination about this.
Regards,
Mba
Hi
medeya2012, if not consider ‘Christians’ and ‘Muslims’ in religious aspects (as the vast majority of Russian families are NOT religious, in traditional sense of the word), but in cultural aspect only, then yes, I agree. 
There is a huge difference in traditions of bringing up children and in family model itself. (If I’m not mistaken, Azerbaijani families hold to Adat?)
HI Tamara.I know, but Azerbaijan families are religious,though USSR forbade Islam our people keep religion and traditions, and now they continue it.Maybe our religion also influences family affairs.
Yes, you’re right, but I think most of all, religion, culture, and traditions have a big part in this problem.
Tamara, sorry, but I really didn’t understand you last sentence, HOLD TO ADAT??? What does it mean???
medeya2012, I’d better (than express my rather vague understanding of Adat family model) just give you a link (for example) and you can comment the concepts described, if you would like.
wwwsshe.murdoch.edu.au/intersect … idrus.html
(scroll down a bit below in the text)
(From where I know - I was told that by a friend of mine who is a Dagestani man. True man, indeed. )
Tamara, I read a part of that big theme,I really didn’t understand clearly what adat is.I guess adat families are those who have strict prohibitions to their members, especially towards their children.I think you mention it because of marriaage in Azeri families.Well, now I can say Azeri families a bit different, especially those who live in Baku, they give more independence to their children.As I know, in most countries parents who take care about the future of their children,how they will live,if they will be happy with the person that they have chosen and so on… So do our families, they also firstly want to know if their child’s choice is right or no.For example, if your child make a mistake, and his/her choice won’t make him/her happy in the future,then what will you do? You’ll ignore this? You will say it’s his/her own choice, let he/she understand this after marriage,being unhappy that he/she made mistake, or you’ll show him/her the right way? What must real parents do? Of course, it will be somehow unacceptable if parents themselves choose you your future husband/wife, just out of hand But anyway, it’s important to get blessings from parents Don’t you think so? But if I know 100% that my choise is right, but my parents don’t want me to marry to this person( for some reasons) then maybe I could do something bad( ran away from home )
Do your Dagestani friend know what is Adat? He/she means adat about Azeri families? I think if adat is to care of the future marriage of children,then this tradition(as I understand) exists in all nations.
medeya2012, as far as I understood him (maybe, wrong), ‘adat’ is a specific set of ancient Caucasian traditional ‘law’ (rules, customs, etc - that are actually quite different from Islamic ones.)
Have a look, for example, at encyclopedia (I suppose, you can fluently read in Russian): zamanaonline.com/enc/adat.htm
But I’m not really a specialist to discuss the difference
To me, one essential difference is that in my (Russian) family my belief is my personal and private area (I suppose if tomorrow I adopt Buddhism or Islam or whatever, my husband will just lift his eyebrows – and nothing more.)
But, without doubts, my active attempts (if any) to impose it to someone else in my familiy will be refused, with great perplexity.
Whereas in Muslim family (in my understanding) personal belief are family area, in the full and wide sense of the word family.
And yes, my (our) children have lots of freedom ([size=167]+[/size] correspondent responsibility :)) from quite early age. As I had, as my husband had…
About many actions they’re going to undertake they just inform us. Or ask for advice (sometimes making… quite different choice :))
That’s not actually a piece of cake to bring them up
I can hardly imagine that (and how) I could stop their (future ) marriage(s) just according to MY wishes and against their own choice. (But, of course, I have the full right to have my own feeling in relation to their choice. And that will be my problem, if I will happen to be unhappy with )
Well, Tamara, I read that information about adat, and I understood what it means. For my opinion, as I’m Azerbaijanian ( not your Dagestani friend ) I can say nowadays I don’t feel anything like adat in our society.
Maybe adat existed in Azerbaijan before USSR, but know there’s no adat, or anything like this 
Maybe adat nowadays exist in north Caucasis, also in Dagestan.
hmm, also, you said our traditional ‘law’ ( before Islam) differs from Islamic ‘laws’ , but when in VII century our people accept Islam, these ’ traditional laws’ changed,( I read in Russian, and I can understand in Russian better) so anyway Islam influenced our traditions and they almost mixed.
In Muslim falimies, everything must be firstly discussed, then be realized.FOr my observations, now most Azeri families give to their children independence, but still not as Russians, I mean not big part of society,maybe 50%.
In our families everything is related, you’re just like a branch of a big tree.
Well, to tell the truth, my family gave me freedom at my childhood and that’s why now I’m such kind of “unobeying” young girl( Tamara I’ve said I’m also from former USSR, but I’m only 19 )
Yes, you’re right, it will be my parents’ problems, if they don’t like my choice but, they also must say opinions about marriage of their children, anyway, they’re my parents I could find the way from some puzzled situation, the right way:)
P.S Tamara, I’m bored of this talks about adat 
let’s change topic
Terribly sorry, Medea, for making you bored by the subject.
…Your posts seemed to be not so glaringly young.
Keep posting. I like your posts.
Tamara
Hi Tamara To tell the truth, it was nice to read about ‘adat’ and discuss it with you, really I wasn’t bored then, but I always bored when the discussion of one subject lasts too long,and no more words remained to say of ot Let’s discuss other things, about cultures and traditions for example and it’ll be very nice if other members join us,I would like to know their opinion too.
xixixi Tamara you’re not the first person who guessed me as adult, or older than I’m now.I’m really 19 years old It’s very funny that some of other forum members thought I’m older, the others asked me if I’m boy or a girl??? Because I always discuss politic, economic and other important things, and I have different point of view, not as other girls in my age.
I’l keep posting, don’t worry Thank you very much.
To bring up that point of mixed marriages, medeya, you should read a wonderful novel “Ali and Nino” by Kurban Said. The author must be german of Azeri origine. It’s exactly about the love of an Azeri jungman and a Georgian noble girl. It was the love there, that always wins if the lovers do not kill it willingly in themselves.
Hi Moniker Thanks for recommendation I’ll try to find that book.