Now television is part of human life. Television influences bad and good things on human behavior. Today’s television is not only entertainment and a fun thing but gives bad habits like imitating celebrities, having health problems and becoming addicted to shows.
First, nowadays movies and television provide different programs, movies which influence children and younger people. They are trying to imitate them. For example, on television they show some actions like smoking and drinking as a good thing. After watching these movies and television programs younger people try to follow those things. They think that these are a good way of living because television prevail them. Movies and television programs contain lot of violence, bad languages and sexual things which parents do not allow children to watch that. These affect children’s mind like sometimes they disobey their elders, come home at late night. Therefore, television changes their behavior.
Secondly, Television affects human health like problems with eyesight, obesity etc. Obesity is a major problem of the world wide. One reason is watching television with eating lot of foods. Most of the people eat more when they watch television or movies. For example, theater provides free popcorn particular days so people prefer to go on that day to watch a movie. People spend most of the time front of the television rather than do any work or exercise. People become lazy, inactive, and unhealthy. Television directly affects human mind and body.
Thirdly, television provides lot of shows and movies. People would like to watch television rather than to spend time with family and friends. For example, people choose their favorite show and adjust their work according to show’s timing. Once a program started, they sit front of the television and in between, they don’t want to communicate with anyone. Children become addicted to television. Sometimes they are entertaining themselves in wrong way. People get addicted to television.
In conclusion, a television influences person’s thought. They become narrower. Television affects human behavior in both physically and mentally.
Hi, Shrutikunde. I presume you want this edited, which I will attempt. In the future, please ask some sort of question.
I didn’t get get. what kind of question? could you please explain me
I am about to start editing it, but in the future, please precede your text with something like “Please edit this.” You might want it edited or have a question about what one part means. We wouldn’t know for sure if you didn’t say what you wanted.
I got this topic in my class. i just want to someone check that and tell me where i am wrong.
please edit this essay. can u correct my grammar and sentences.
Below is my edit.
Notes:
I left “human life” on the first reference because it didn’t bother me, but obviously television would not be part of animal or plant life. The repetition, “human behavior,” became too much. A health problem is not necessarily a bad habit, though bad habits can cause health problems. That is why I opted to reword that.
The determiner is “a lot.” It’s fairly informal. “Languages” refers to entire languages. For instance, English and Spanish are different languages. “Bad languages” was intended as “coarse speech,” which is why the plural is inappropriate. It looks as if you were referring to whole languages as bad. “Sexual things” are not necessarily harmful. It is obvious that you are not referring to shows on biology, so you mean vulgarity. That is why I chose “lewdness.” You said “which parents do not allow their children to watch.” If that were the case, it wouldn’t affect them, though you say it does. I took that to mean you felt they shouldn’t let kids watch them, and that is where I got the first line of the new paragraph.
(Breaking it up because it’s getting long on us.)
The preposition “like” should not introduce a full sentence or a relative clause beginning with “that,” whether “that” is stated or implied. Note that I explained the vision problem, which you had neglected to do. Adverbs of order – “first,” “second,” and “third” – are often awkward when introducing points in argument that do not need to be numbered anyway. If you are explaining a process in steps, by all means, use them. The forms ending in “-ly” have a stuffy air, and I would always avoid them. You automatically restate the point of your paragraphs as they close, but often your paragraphs are clear enough to disregard that. I know that is how people teach argument writing, though.
I reorganized and combined some of your sentences and tried to retain phrasing similar to yours where I could.
Thank,
it was good explanation. it helps me lot.
Television is one of the influential and widespread communication media. I would better to say television has increased communication with family and friends. There are following reasons that explain television is not distracter among family and friends.
Firstly, today people have busy life and less time to spend with family and friends. They can spend time with them when they sit front of the television. While watching television they can enjoy with each other. They can laugh and discuss about movies, laughing programs, sports etc. They can relax with family while watching a television. Television positively influence relationship among friends and family,
Secondly, television gives us updating information about world. Television is quick communication than newspaper. Television has audio and video effects. These effects are faster than audio of radio. For example, Pakistan had flood. This information were spread every corner of world with video footage. People would come together and try to help them as well as other nearest country invest their contribution to help them. Television has various advertisements where we can know about new fashion and new technology. As result, people can share this news with our family and friends.
Furthermore, television gives us knowledge. Television has different channels where we can find educational information. For example, we can see discovery channel, history channel, animal planet and food channel. These channels provide us knowledgeable information. We can discuss this information with family and friends. On food channel women get new recipes and techniques for kitchen. They make variety foods and share with family and friends.
In conclusion, television can bring family and friends come together. They can enjoy when they watch television. Television can be best source of information. Therefore, television does not destroy communication between family and friends.
can you correct this essay?
this effect is remarkable escpecialy teenager.we can see our family,brothers or sister .They try to be a film carachter sometimes.
Here is my edit:
Television is an influential, widespread medium that has enhanced communication in relationships.
This asset has increased interaction rather than distracting from it, allowing family and friends to spend time together despite their busy lives. They can laugh and discuss shows as they relax. Television positively influences relationships.
It is also better than newspapers and radio for useful information we can share. TV is much quicker than newspapers, and while radio has audio, its effects are slower. An obvious advantage over both is video, which can be more striking and informative than words. For example, Pakistani flood footage drew aid from every corner of the world. Further, we can tell friends and family about fashion and technology we see in various advertisements. Television’s ability to give us more than words and sound helps us quickly share better, more influential information.
Television also gives us knowledge about interests and hobbies that we might discuss with others. Stations such as the Discovery Channel, the History Channel, Animal Planet and the Food Network provide information family and friends can use for everything from trying new recipes to caring for pets.
In conclusion, television can bring family and friends together. It is a source of conversation and enjoyment amid increasing demands on our time. Footage, instant updates and faster audio make it the best medium for sharing quality information. It also has several interest-oriented options that can help us as well as family and friends. Therefore, it does not destroy communication; it makes it better.
These are my notes.
Some of my changes attempted to better organize or express your thoughts. A few were plainly stylistic. There is an abundance of grammatical errors as well as other problems.
Even after this change, this has a somewhat conversational air that doesn’t suit your essay.
First, “distraction” is the word. It is odd to begin such a sentence with “there are.” You are basically announcing that you are about to provide reasons for your thoughts, which we thoroughly expect. The more common alternative, though less awkward, is still odd and extraneous. “Television is not a distraction for the following reasons.”
Numbering your thoughts in an essay is a misguided if common transitional effect. We can all count, and there is no reason for it here. Unless you are ordering steps or expressing sequence, these adverbs have no function. Also, the “-ly” forms of these adverbs are stilted.
If you are not referring to life as a general condition, the singular form should take an article or other determiner. The immediate repetition of “spend time” is not best. “Sit in front of” is needless because it’s obvious. Your second, third and fourth sentences are so close in meaning as to merit fusion into one. “Discuss” is transitive – no preposition should precede the object. “Etc.” usually follows a comma and is not a great move in most writing. We already know you’re pointing out examples. To say “and so on” is quite lazy. You can just leave it to the examples you’ve mentioned. We usually don’t say “watching a television.” The article is quite awkward. “Television” in “watching television” is usually the programming, not the machine. As “television” is singular, the third-person verb form, “influences” is required. Although I did not change it, “influence” is a weak verb here. If you know the nature of the effect or its nature is limited to certain things, use verbs that express that. “Enhances,” “improves,” “betters,” and “strengthens” are all suitable. “Relationship” should be “relationships.” More than one is in question.
As information cannot be updating itself, the past participle is the acceptable option. “Quicker” is the comparative form, and if you use “than,” that is what you need. Television is not communication itself; it is a source of it. The same is true of newspapers, which is countable. It is not like “paper.”
“Flood” is countable, requiring an article here. “Information” is singular, so “was” is the verb. “People would come together” indicates either condition or habitual action in the past. Neither is applicable: You want to indicate a single past action. “People came together.” It is “and tried” or “to try.” There can be no more than one nearest country unless more than one is equidistant from the one in question. You simply mean nearby countries.
People came together and tried to help them, and nearby countries contributed.
“Where we can learn is correct.”
Channel titles are proper nouns; they should be capitalized.
Note that your first and third sentences are all but identical in meaning. You sometimes restate things more than necessary. You could have connected the idea about providing information we could share the first time. “Variety” is the noun; “various” and “varied” are the adjectives.
“Enjoy” is transitive, and although your “when” clause could be a noun clause, its pairing with “can” makes it seem adverbial. The result is that it appears to have no object. In other words, they enjoy what as they watch television? “They can enjoy watching television.” “Source” is singular and countable, so an article or other determiner is required. Your final statement is not really a restatement of your central idea, which is that it improves communication. Failure to destroy it could mean it has no effect whatsoever.