hiiiii, dear luschen, a new one.

[Vivianmi]

Now i know i sometimes digress unconsciously when writing some part of the essay. i still have a long way to go!
please take a look at this one, though a teacher suggest me to write like this, i still not sure whether this one is off topic or not.

a or d:The best leaders are those who are willing to admit if they have made a bad decision.

   We emphasize a lot on teamwork and cooperation nowadays, but after all, we should have a good leader to make it happen. Some people argue that the best leaders are those who are willing to admit if they have made a bad decision. However, I disagree with this statement because there are many more qualities required to be a great leader besides responsibility for his work, such as being knowledgeable, confident, inspiring and so forth.
  First, when his staffs have work problems and head to him asking for help, a good leader should be knowledgeable enough so that he can help his subordinates solve diverse problems. Otherwise, it is hard to convince his subordinate staff to obey his order or command. I remember that my mother always complained about her previous stupid director, who always came late but left early and when taking part in some important meetings he must ask one of his subordinates to go with him because he could not understand any technical problems concerning their work. Finally, he paid for his lack of professional knowledge and got fired. Thus, it is not a cliché that knowledge is power, especially for a leader.
 Second, from my point of view, confidence is another important key to make a good leader. I always think that great leadership comes from great personal charm. In order to be charming, you may not need to be beautiful, handsome or wealthy, just confidence is enough. Look at Primer Wen, his confident smile always lights up the hope in our heart and makes us believe that our nation can get over any barriers like Wen Chuan earthquake, which took away the lives of tens of thousands of people in 2008. A person with great confidence shows he has trust in himself, which will impress others that his power of ideas, actions and wills will lead his group to wipe out any barriers and step further. Accordingly, so necessary it is for a great leader to have confidence.
Finally, the ability to inspire others is the last important quality I think as a good leader he must have. Personally, the leader is supposed to enhance the team’s efficiency by managing all the human resources and material advantages to achieve a certain goal at the least cost. In other words, a leader should make full use of every one’s capacity or even 120 percent of them. For example, if a worker has gift in human resources while he is an engineer, the leader may transfer him to the HR position and inspire him to display his talent on the new stage. Thus, the ability to spur others is essential to a leader.
All in all, the leader is the soul of a team, a company, even a country. A great leader is not born to be, but they can learn, practice to be. Only have the responsibility for their mistakes is far less enough, being knowledgeable, confident, inspiring and having many other qualities is also super important.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a student and her coach

[Luschen]

Hi Vivian, I thought you did a great job with this essay. Your examples were a little far-ranging, but the fact that you followed each one with a sentence guiding them back towards the thesis made them fine I think. You did have a few odd sounding phrases and poor word choices, but overall your writing was very clear and mostly error-free. I would rate this a 4.5 out of 5.

@Vivianmi

Now i know i sometimes digress unconsciously when writing some part of the essay. i still have a long way to go!
please take a look at this one, though a teacher suggest me to write like this, i still not sure whether this one is off topic or not.

a or d:The best leaders are those who are willing to admit if they have made a bad decision.

   We emphasize a lot on {you don't "emphasize on" something - either "we emphasize teamwork and cooperation a lot" or "we put a lot of emphasis on teamwork ..."  } teamwork and cooperation nowadays, but after all,{"after all" does not really work here - try "nevertheless"} we should have{"we require a good leader" is better I think}  a good leader to make it happen. Some people argue that the best leaders are those who are willing to admit if they have made a bad decision. However, I disagree with this statement because there are many more qualities required to be a great leader besides responsibility for his work, such as being knowledgeable, confident, inspiring and so forth.
  First, when his [s]staffs[/s][staff] have {in the US we say "staff has", but I think this is ok in UK} work problems and head to him asking for help, a good leader should be knowledgeable enough so that he can help his subordinates solve diverse problems. Otherwise, it is hard to convince his subordinate staff to obey his order or command. I remember that my mother always complained about her previous stupid{"stupid" sounds pretty rude, we generally avoid it - maybe "inept"}  director, who always came late but left early and when taking part in some important meetings he [s]must[/s][had to] {you can't use "must" with past tense} ask one of his subordinates to go with him because he could not understand any technical problems concerning their work. Finally,{"in the end" seems more clear - finally sounds like you are adding one final example of his poor performance} he paid for his lack of professional knowledge and got fired. Thus, it is not a cliché that knowledge is power, especially for a leader.
 Second, from my point of view, confidence is another important key to make{"to the making of a good ..." sounds a bit better}  a good leader. I always think that great leadership comes from great personal charm. In order to be charming, you may not need to be beautiful, handsome or wealthy, just [having] confidence is enough. Look at Primer[Premier] Wen[;] {or colon} his confident smile always lights up the hope in our heart and makes us believe that our nation can get over any barriers like [the] Wen Chuan earthquake, which took away the lives of tens of thousands of people in 2008. A person with great confidence shows he has trust {"faith" is better here} in himself, which will impress others that his power of ideas, actions and [s]wills[/s][will] {a person only has one will} will lead his group to wipe out any barriers and step further.{"step further" is a bit odd - maybe "step towards the future"} Accordingly, so necessary it is for a great leader to have confidence.
Finally, the ability to inspire others is the [s]last[/s][final] {"last" might mean least here} important quality I think [s]as[/s] a good leader [s]he [/s]must have. Personally, the leader is supposed to enhance the team’s efficiency by managing all the human resources and material advantages to achieve a certain goal at the least cost. In other words, a leader should make full use of every one’s {one word} capacity or even 120 percent of [it] [s]them[/s]. {oh, I hate this expression - reminds me of my old football days and doesn't make any more sense now :)  }For example, if a worker has [a] gift [s]in[/s][for] human resources [management] {it sounded like he might actually have a present waiting for him in the human resources office}  while he is an engineer, the leader may transfer him to the HR position and inspire him to display his talent on the new stage. Thus, the ability to spur others is essential to a leader.
All in all, the leader is the soul of a team, a company, [or] even a country. A great leader is not born to be [one], but they can learn [and] practice to be[come one]. Only hav[ing] the responsibility for their mistakes is far less enough{"is definitely not enough" or "is clearly inadequate"} , being knowledgeable, confident, inspiring and having many other qualities is also super important.{"super important" sounds too informal here - maybe "of critical importance"} 

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a student and her coach