Hi Luschen, I am new here on this forum, please help to correct my essay. Thanks

Question: Modern technology has an influence on schools today. Do you think teachers will still have a role in 2050 or the study process will be completely computerised?


You will go to school and study by yourself? There will be no Dean of students to complain about your behavior or no stern teacher to grade your paper work with her harshly scoring rubric? Witnessing the growth at a starling pace of computers, the Internet and other technological devices as well as their replacement in some tasks at workplace, especially the advent of computers in schools, some people hold the view that computers can replace teachers in classrooms in the third millennium. Personally, despite the development of technology, I believe that by the end of 2050, teachers will have been playing a key role, and computers will simply be supporting tools in schools.

The first reason to back my point up is that teachers do not only teach knowledge and skills in particular subjects to students, but also be a helpful guide and a good example in the learning progress. The computers have large memories and can contain infinite sources of know-how, but never be able to interact with students or explain the abstract concepts to students, primary pupils for instance. Additionally, as human being, we learn from our mistakes, and this natural learning cannot be done when computers are occupied the teachers’ position. Conversely, implementing computers might put students under depression of being precise all the time. Wise educators and government officials for sure will not choose this harmful alternative regardless the computers’ preeminence in multi-tasked ability.
In addition to the requirement of interaction, inspiring and motivating students is the teachers’ irreplaceable role. Teachers are known for their leadership, discovering the talent of their students and constantly encouraging them to work harder to achieve their potential. It is true to say that behind any successful persons, there always has been a mentor dedicating their time and efforts to teach their students, showing them the importance of perseverance and discipline one must have in order to obtain results that will bring them happiness and success. This cannot be done by any sophisticate computers. Therefore, the idea of computerizing the entire studying procedure is likely to fail in practice.

To conclusion, humans have been inventing devices in order to support humans, not to replace our position. It seems to be a tremendous disaster if one day there would have machinery tools dominant our lives and make the whole society half- machinery.

TOEFL listening lectures: Who are not included as members of the Underground Railroad?

Hi Rose, I think your essay is pretty good, though your conclusion was weaker and had more odd sentences. Your format was effective and you had some good ideas that were supported pretty well. Much of your writing sounded very clear and natural, but you had a few odd phrases and sentences mixed in, a couple of which were a little unclear to me. You did not have too many grammatical errors,b ut you did have a few mistakes in usage. Overall, I would rate this a 4 out of 5.

Dear Luschen,

Thank you again for your time and your concern. I will try correct those odd expressions (I never got the correction from any teachers, especially from a English native teacher.)

Question: Economic progress is one way to measure a country’s success. What other factors do you think should be concerned when measure the success of a country? In these factors, which one is the most important?

National success has been concerned as an eventual goal by governments, and been questioned all the time. One answer has been highlighted as the first and foremost characteristic of this broad success is the nation’s economic growth. Ultimately, governments have focused on boosting up the national income and its gross domestic product. However, many other fundamental factors should be taken into account as criteria of evaluation a country’s wealth-being. In the following essay, the organization of the society and the long-term development are regarded as some key criteria of the nation’s success.

The equality and safety of the society should be a principle standard of any government’s efforts in establishing its country. A country cannot be an ideal destination unless there is no gap between the rich and the poor, or unless the opportunity of education and promotion and the accessibility to the social welfare is given equally to each and every individual. Not only is the equitable society important, but the safety of the community is also crucial, being free from scaring of violence or mass shooting for instance. Furthermore, governments’ policies to guarantee the development in the long run must be another key to evaluate the success mentioning. A country would not be regarded of a developed one if next generations are going to face collapses, regardless of the present high nation’s per capita income.
Among the factors mentioned above, the stabilization of development in schemes of governments is assumed the essential to the nation’s success. How to exploit the natural resources effectively in conjunction with how to explore other renewable sources of energy is a matter of long term. Maintaining a society at a stable level without severe contradicts among social classes along with determining the high level of citizens’ well-being is the most highly correlated with the characteristic of fulfilling the governments’ mission. This will help to prevent the countries from any crisis which can destroy the entire community as it was seen in history.

All in all, economic progress ought not to be a unique element in evaluating the perfect development of a country. Governments have to practice proper policies to organize a balance society, and wise methods to enhance the sustainable development.

Dear teacher,

As I am quite new on the site and trying to understand how it works, I do not know how many essays I should send to have you correct. Should I keep writing and asking your help after my first essay?

Thank you for your time.


Hi Rose. I am sorry but I never saw your second essay. Please post each essay with its own subject or thread. I look at the posts and respond to those with zero responses, so if you don’t start a new topic, I may miss your essay. It is best to post one essay at a time, then when I check it you can post the next one. That way hopefully you will be able to incorporate some of my suggestions into your next essay. I will go ahead and check this one now though.

I thought your writing was quite good in this one, but your overall structure was a little confusing. I would expect three body paragraphs here - one on organization of a society, one on long-term development, and then one on which one you think is most important. It would actually be better to have three different measures of success - maybe human rights or the health of the population would be good additions. Then you can combine your choice for most important with the conclusion to end with a 5 paragraph essay. You have a good vocabulary, but some times your long words seem to get in the way of your writing instead of making your ideas more clear. Your grammar is generally pretty good, but you do have some incorrect phrase constructions and some awkward sounding sentences. Overall, I would rate this a 4 out of 5.

Thank you so much so so sorry for my clumsiness. Much appreciated your volunteer job here.