Hi Luschen, Could you please evaluate my essay on a scale of 0-9.Many thanks!

Topic : -
There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays.

It is true that there are a number of musical styles persist in the world. Music is an essential part of human life and in my opinion traditional music of a particular culture is vital than that of the modern international music.

First of all, music depicts different aspects of life. Even, it is the most effective medium to express varied emotions of a human being. For instance, there are different genre exists in music that expresses feelings such as love, sorrow, joy, anger and happiness to name a few. Right from pre-school children get acquainted with music in the form of nursery rhymes that acts as a stepping stone for them to form a social connection with other participants. In addition to this, music possesses a unique property to convey those feelings which simply cannot be expressed in words. In short, life without music is unimaginable.

Secondly, in my opinion, traditional music should be greatly valued over modern international music. It has been observed that modern music such as jazz or pop is highly commercialized as sense of business turn out to be crucial. On the other hand, traditional music is close to country’s culture and expresses customs as well as history of the same. For example, Rajasthan Folk music is a unique identity of Rajasthan province in India and Sufi music is a reflection of Arabic culture. It will be a real pity if modern music becomes so predominant that these national styles vanished.

In a nutshell, music is a necessary part of human existence and its historical glory. I strongly believe that traditional music should be given more importance than international music.

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Can you also please share some of the key tips to consistently score above band 7? I need to achieve it as I fall short of 0.5 in my first IELTS attempt.

TOEFL listening lectures: Why does the professor explain the history of coffee?

Hi, I think to get a band 7 your writing needs to sound almost completely natural, maybe a couple grammatical errors are ok, but your sentence structures and word choices all need to be correct. In addition, you need to have a clear structure and have a somewhat deep insight into the topic with some creative and thought-provoking ideas. For a band 8, you need almost flawless grammar with some advanced vocabulary that makes your writing more clear, not just clutters it up with big words just for the sake of big words. You also need even more thought-provoking and original ideas that really go deep into the topic and bring out some non-obvious points. I think your content here is probably worthy of a band 7, but you have a few too many errors in your word choices and sentence structures, so your writing does not sound completely natural. I would rate this a band 6.5.

Thank you so much Luschen. I will try my best to overcome the errors and post some more essays. Thanks for the detailed analysis!