People should not be allowed to work after the age of 65 while others think that should be allowed to work as long as they want. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
The general public holds widely divergent views about the retirement age of old people. Some believe that the elderly should be encouraged to work until they want to stop, while others argue they should retire when they reach 65 years of age. Both points of view have their own grounds, but personally I believe that whether they are permitted to work or not depends on the nature of their occupations.
There are several reasons why the seniors should not work at the age of 65. The first one is that they are too old to adapt any changes in the workplace. This is particularly the case when old employees are more likely to be reluctant or slow learning and updating new cutting edge technologies in their work. Moreover, old workers who are doing physically demanding jobs would not be strong enough to continue to work since at this age their physical and mental health is not good. If they try to do these careers, they will get injured, resulting to a huge financial burden on their family and national budget.
On the other hand, it can be argued that people after 65 years old bring a number of benefits for other individuals and society so there is a need to encourage them to work. Some elderly intellectual workers such as scientists and doctors have spent their whole life learning and doing research so they will make more contributions to their companies and the community if they are allowed to pursue their careers. As well as this they are also be able to not only share their working experience and valuable life lessons to younger coworkers, but also motivate and inspire young employees at the office which would contribute to a better working environment and increased productivity.
In conclusion, it is my belief that those who are working in professional fields should be encouraged to work after 65 years old because of the positive effects and valuable contributions they bring to their organizations and society. In contrast, some old manual workers should retire at the age of 65.
Hi Ha Le I really liked this essay. You addressed the prompt well and your writing is very clear and extremely well-organized. Your vocabulary is a bit on the basic side, but there is not too much repetition and all your words have been chosen correctly. Maybe my only issue is with “old worker” - it is a little repetitive, it sounds a little odd, and it would mean someone who has been with the company a long time, not really a worker who is old. You had just a few grammar and usage errors, but nothing that interfered with my comprehension.
I think this one would probably score a band 7.
I’m very exhilarated when working on your feedback as you’ve shown me how to use words/phrases and to explain my ideas clearly and naturally. Honestly, I have never received any similar feedback like this before. I have struggled at 6.5 a few times so your feedback is definitely the thing that motivates me to work harder to improve my writing.
Regarding my writing in this topic, I found that it is too long although I wrote it in 40mins so I’ve tried to shorten it to 260-280 words. I still failed to do so, though. Please help me remove unnecessary words and correct my writing.
Many thanks.
Ha Le
The general public holds widely divergent views about what the retirement age should be. Some believe that the elderly after the age of 65 should retire, while others oppose this idea. Both points of view have their own grounds, but personally I believe that whether they are permitted to work or not depends on the nature of their occupations.
To begin, there are several reasons why the seniors should not work beyond the age of 65. The first one is that they are too old to adapt to any changes in the workplace. This is particularly the case when older employees are more likely to be reluctant or slow in learning and updating their skillsets to master new cutting edge technologies in their work. Moreover, physical health is the big concern for people at this age if they continue working. Some might do a physically demanding job such as working in construction sites which appears to be inappropriate for old people as it requires them to perform heavy work.
However, it can be argued that people older than 65 years old bring a number of benefits so there is a need to encourage them to continue working. Some elderly intellectual-oriented workers such as scientists and doctors have spent their whole life learning and doing research so they will make more contributions to their companies and the community if they are allowed to pursue their careers. As well as serving as repositories of knowledge, not only could senior employees share their working experience and valuable life lessons to younger co-workers, but they also motivate and inspire others, which would contribute to a better working environment and increased productivity.
In conclusion, it is my belief that manual-labor workers should retire when they reach 65 years old while those who are working in professional fields should be encouraged to work until they want to stop.