Hello, Luschen. This is my first essay delivered to your forum

Hi, Luschen, I’m first here, this forum is really great place and i think i will get a better grade with your help. This is my toefl essay.

Topic:Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All high school students should take a course in basic economics.

The development of the society takes starvation and cold from us and brings a variety of method to relax. Everyone have deposit, even a little child. At the same time, an important problem emerged whether we should let high school students take a course of basic economics. As far as I am concerned, I firmly believe that this course is necessary.

The concept of economics is very essential for their future development. Everyone has to leave his parents when he grows up and he must learn how to deal with money after that. Or in other words, to get the idea how to deal with money is indispensable. Taking me for example, before I go to university, I live with my parents that I don’t need to care about my money would running out because my parents would afford the things I wanted. However, we I go to university, I must make a plan to cope with my tuition and fee of eating result from limited living expenses. Because of I don’t have received any economics course before; I spend all of my money at the first month in the university. But if I could get this course in my high school, I could try to avoid this poor situation.

Teaching students how to manage money could help them avoid some problems in life. Parents, nowadays, even grandparents, always give their kids money without any think just because kids said they needed, especially in China where almost every family has only one kid due to the policy made by the Nation. In this situation, to teach students how to manage is second to none. Otherwise, students may abandon themselves into net bar or drugs due to lack of a proper thinking of economics. Even worse, if they have a large amount of money and cannot get a favorable advice, they may just indulge into gambling. Consequently, we should put to teach them some economic concept to the priority.

All in all, as a university student, I know the importance of the economics deeply. We’d better told our offspring those kind of knowledge as early as possible so that to provide a greater future for them.

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture from a marine biology class

Hi Matthew, welcome to the forum, though this is not “my forum” - Torsten would get mad at me! But really, anyone is allowed to give comments and suggestions. As far ar your essay is concerned, I think you have given a pretty good effort. Your structure is good, but your introduction does not lead smoothly to your thesis. You have some good reasons, but a few more details in some of your examples would be helpful. I don’t think your writing quality was as good as your content though. Most of your sentences are clear, but you had a lot of mistakes in verb tense, some incorrect word choices, and a lot of miscellaneous grammatical errors. Overall, I would rate this a 3.5 out of 5.

Oh~I hope Torsten didn’t see it! Aha. Thx for your help and I see a lot errors of mine.