Hi Luschen, could you please help me check this essay and rate it in IELTS bandscore! Thank you in advance!
TOPIC: Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? What are the effects on society and family life?
It is true that the average age of mothers has been considerably increasing despite all the potential risks warned by experts. Several possible implications are arising from this noticeable trend, and the reasons for this reality will be examined in this essay.
Nowadays, people choose to have kids in their thirties or forties for several reasons. As there are more pressures in modern life, many couples determine to have a healthy financial status before being fathers and mothers. In other words, due to the rising costs of living and childcare, they want to give their priority on paying for monthly bills like foods and electricity, and on saving money for a rainy day. In addition, because young adults are more conscious about themselves, they want to spend time discovering their “inner worlds” by experiencing different things from various aspects of life. Therefore, they postpone their marriage to achieve these goals, which also leads to a delay in giving birth.
However, this trend is not welcomed by experts in different fields as it might have negative effects on kids’ health and the society as a whole in the future. Firstly, having babies later in parents’ lives could make these kids face a greater risk of getting certain serious diseases such as Down syndrome. Another consequence is an increasing aging population in the long term as there are less young people and more elder ones. This phenomenon will hurt the whole society with a wide range of problems, such as state budget deficit due to the relative decline of the number of taxpayers or stagnant economy due to the insufficient workforce.
In conclusion, the decision to become parents late in life could benefit couples in many ways in the short term, but it would place more burdens on the society in the future.
Hi Huganegi, I thought you did a great job on this essay. You answered the prompt very well and gave some great examples. You have a few minor mistakes in usage, but overall, I would rate this one a band 7.