GRE essay: A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near

Hi could anyone help me in evaluating my essays?

A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near
your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new
influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory?
Explain your position.


I heard that a large factory would be coming up near my community. This brings many drawbacks as well as benefits for everyone.

It is true that building a factory could pose serious hazards to health. Residents would face a lot of problems such as pollutions. Thick smog of smoke would emit from the factory and there by damaging the environment. Not only the smog, there is also a water drain, noises produced by the trucks of factory to name a few. It would also emit poisonous gas, liquid to name a few.

Recall the incident occurred in Bhopal called as BHOPAL GAS TRAGEDY, one of the world’s worst tragedy. Nearly 35000 people lost their lives due to leak of poisonous gas Union Carbide from the industry. Thus from the above example, people would oppose the factory/industry from having it. Another incident in West Bengal, India where NANO Car plant/industry come up in Singur constituency. At that time, people were forced to oppose the factory from having it fearing that it could pose serious problems to health.

In the other hand, building a factory would be benefit for the people by getting jobs. Because factory requires more people to work, hence the case. Suppose a factory was coming up in a village, there is chance of developing more facilities and hence village would become highly developed. Hence from the above following reasons, people would support from having a factory near their locality or communities.

By frankly speaking, factory near one’s community could be banned so that there would be no problems for residents. They would enjoy their surroundings by making clean and green.

Im here to improve essay writing as well. I must tell you that your essay is persuasive. However, it needs to be a little longer(around 450-500 words). That will definitely compel the reader to give you a high score.

A very poor essay Nachikey. You really have not developed enough in your English understanding to cover this topic well. Do more reading.

Kitos. 6.5/10

Thanks a lot for sending suggestions. I would improve reading by posting many essays.

Posting essays are unlikely to improve reading as much as reading is! Books, newspapers, magazines, subtitles… any material written by someone else.
If the reading hasn’t developed well enough, then the writing will be poor. The only result will be a great many poorly written essays.