Governments give a lot of support to artists-ielts task2

[Minooee]

Governments give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people have a strong feeling against given financial support to artists by the government, however others refute this idea. In this essay firstly discuss about why governments should support artists and secondly we will consider the other idea before drawing any conclusion.

On the one hand, artists have strong impact on societies. To begin with, they depict our cultures, traditions and thoughts. In addition in many circumstances, preserved and redeveloped of monuments are their responsibilities. In London, for example, there are several new sculptures and statues that have made by artists that it is change the face of city and also bring more visitors to the city. Therefore, for these reasons, governments should support them and give them all facilities they will need to show their works.

On the other hand, although artists bring considerable benefits to societies, allocate the state budget to them would not be a wise decision while these money should invest in valuable area such as education and healthcare. These public services are more important for a country than help artist to develop their jobs as are categorized in luxurious material. Thus, artists should find private sponsors to continue their way.

To sum up, in my opinion, being an artist is a career like other jobs and there is no different between them. Governments should try to improve situation of all infrastructures rather than help artists while develop a career is a responsibility of workers. Governments should prepare adequate facilities not only for artist, but also for all works to have chance begin succeed in their career.

TOEFL listening lectures: A university lecture by a professor of American History

[Luschen]

Hi Minooee, I thought you had some good ideas here and your writing is clear for the most part, apart from that one confusing phrase. I especially liked your final paragraph, your opinion seems very well-reasoned. You do have some grammar mistakes and some verb tenses that could have been better. So overall, I would rate this a band 6.5

@Minooee

Governments give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people have a strong feeling against given financial support [given] to artists by the government, however others refute this idea. In this essay firstly [we will] discuss about why governments should support artists and secondly we will consider the other idea before drawing any conclusion. {I prefer a more definitive thesis statement instead of just saying what you are going to write about}

On the one hand, artists have [a ]strong impact on societies. To begin with, they depict our cultures, traditions and thoughts. In addition in many circumstances, preserv[ing] and redevelop[ing] of monuments {or “… circumstances, the preservation and redevelopment of …”} are their responsibilities. In London, for example, there are several new sculptures and statues that have [been] made {“created” is better though} by artists that it is [have] change[d ] the face of [the] city and also bring more visitors to the city. Therefore, for these reasons, governments should support them and give them all facilities they will need to show their works.

On the other hand, although artists bring considerable benefits to societies, allocat[ing] the state budget to them would not be a wise decision while these [, as this]money should [be] invest[ed] in valuable{“valuable” is not quite right - maybe “worthy”} area[s ] such as education and healthcare. These public services are more important for a country than help[ing] artist[s ] to develop their jobs as are categorized in luxurious material. {this last phrase is unclear to me - what do you mean?} Thus, artists should find private sponsors to continue their way.{“continue their way” sounds a bit odd}

To sum up, in my opinion, being an artist is a career like other jobs and there is no different between them. Governments should try to improve [the] situation of all infrastructur[e ] {“infrastructure” is non countable singular} rather than help artists[, since developing] while develop a career is a responsibility of workers. Governments should prepare adequate facilities not only for artist[s ], but also for all work[ers] to have [a ]chance begin [to] succeed in their career[s ].

TOEFL listening lectures: A university lecture by a professor of American History

[Luschen]

Hi Minooee, I thought you had some good ideas here and your writing is clear for the most part, apart from that one confusing phrase. I especially liked your final paragraph, your opinion seems very well-reasoned. You do have some grammar mistakes and some verb tenses that could have been better. So overall, I would rate this a band 6.5

@Minooee

Governments give a lot of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been used elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people have a strong feeling against given financial support [given] to artists by the government, however others refute this idea. In this essay firstly [we will] discuss about why governments should support artists and secondly we will consider the other idea before drawing any conclusion. {I prefer a more definitive thesis statement instead of just saying what you are going to write about}

On the one hand, artists have [a ]strong impact on societies. To begin with, they depict our cultures, traditions and thoughts. In addition in many circumstances, preserv[ing] and redevelop[ing] of monuments {or “… circumstances, the preservation and redevelopment of …”} are their responsibilities. In London, for example, there are several new sculptures and statues that have [been] made {“created” is better though} by artists that it is [have] change[d ] the face of [the] city and also bring more visitors to the city. Therefore, for these reasons, governments should support them and give them all facilities they will need to show their works.

On the other hand, although artists bring considerable benefits to societies, allocat[ing] the state budget to them would not be a wise decision while these [, as this]money should [be] invest[ed] in valuable{“valuable” is not quite right - maybe “worthy”} area[s ] such as education and healthcare. These public services are more important for a country than help[ing] artist[s ] to develop their jobs as are categorized in luxurious material. {this last phrase is unclear to me - what do you mean?} Thus, artists should find private sponsors to continue their way.{“continue their way” sounds a bit odd}

To sum up, in my opinion, being an artist is a career like other jobs and there is no different between them. Governments should try to improve [the] situation of all infrastructur[e ] {“infrastructure” is non countable singular} rather than help artists[, since developing] while develop a career is a responsibility of workers. Governments should prepare adequate facilities not only for artist[s ], but also for all work[ers] to have [a ]chance begin [to] succeed in their career[s ].

TOEFL listening lectures: A university lecture by a professor of American History