Hi everyone, any comment that you have on my essay to improve this would be apperciated.It will be better if you can give a score.
Workers are more satisfied when they have many different types of tasks to do during the workday than when they do similar tasks all day long.
my essay is as follows
Nowadays,people take into account various aspects when searching for a job including its security ,salary and so on. No matter who is finding a job, the concept of the variety is an important factor. From my point of view, people will prefer to do different types of tasks during workday.
Firstly, it’s boring and unbearable for people who work all day long to do the similar tasks. The key point is far beyond their frustration when confronted with boredom of work repeatability—it’s work efficiency. They will lack encouragement to use their brains since it looks like that all work only need to be repeated, which will lead to mistakes easily.Here is a concrete example to tesify to theimportance of the variety of the tasks, as a driver working in the factory, my brother John reapted transporting the goods day by day without any encouragement. Gradually he lost passion for his jobs, which deduced that he was less and less concentrated on his work, even drving the truck after being drunk. Finally, he met an accident in which all of the goods were damaged since his drunk driving. and loose his jobs.
Secondly, taking diverified work helps people learn many valuable skills that cannot be learned from textbooks. Experience definitely makes one mature and more capable. What’s more, different tasks needs different skills, and people can take advantage of every tasks to accumulate working experience and precious knowledge for their utilization. For example, before steve jobs building up the apple company, he have worked in different places and done different jobs , which accmulating his experience and help him have a good command of various skill. All of these pave the way to his success.
To sum up , workers need to have a certain number of pratices to make sure that they can complete their task well, but what’s more, A job people need to complete different task during working is more attractive to the employers.
Please find an amended version of your text below:
Nowadays, when people are looking for a job, they take into account various aspects such as security, salary and so on. Regardless of who is looking for a job, the concept of variety is an important factor. In my opinion, people prefer different types of tasks during the working day.
First, it is boring and unbearable for people to do the same tasks all day long. The crux of the matter is not only their frustration in the face of the boredom they face when repeating their work, but also their work efficiency. Here is a concrete example to illustrate the importance of task variety: As a driver in the factory, my brother John was busy moving the goods day after day without any encouragement. Gradually, he lost the desire for his work, which led to him concentrating less and less on his work and even driving the truck while drunk. Finally, he had an accident in which all the goods were damaged due to his drunk driving and lost his job.
Second, varied work helps people learn many valuable skills that cannot be learned from textbooks. Experience definitely makes one more mature and capable. Besides, different tasks require different skills, and people can use each task to gain and use work experience and valuable knowledge. For example, before Steve Jobs built the Apple company, he worked in different places and took on different tasks, gaining experience and mastering different skills well. All this paved the way for his success.
In summary, workers need to have a certain set of practices to make sure they can do their job well, but beyond that, a job that requires people to do different tasks while working is more attractive to employers.