ESSAY Number 3 : LOTS OF THANK YOU

I just saw this question in this forum decided to write an essay about it. :slight_smile:

NOT : Luschen You are doing great things for international students THANK U VERY MUCH.

Agree or disagree about children grow in the country better than city ?

City is, as we all know, more money, more people, more air pollution. Lots of people think that growing a child is much better in country inasmuch as some of this reasons, but it is quite the contrary for me. Because I think, without any doubt there are much useful benefits in city. Despite these potential benefits, I disagree with the question. From my perspective, I believe that city has much better for children because they can get better higher education from the prestigious schools, they can find better jobs when they graduated. Also living in the city causes to meet much more people and novel ideas.

First of all, it is obvious that children can get much better education in the city. I had grown up in the city until I got sixteen years old then my family sent me country for several reason which they had. I able to finish my high school in the country after that I had taken a rugged exam before applied to university. I failed that exam several times but on the other side my friends, who prepared that exam in the city, passed that exam. This thought me that even though you are a good student, people, who trained in the city, can get more point than you are.

Further more, cities are much more job for people. Although if u can’t get job in your area, you still be able to find job from the different areas. I got my degree from a mechanical engineering department. After my graduation I went to city and started look for a job. I found several jobs that related my degree. I worked for aerospace company, and welding company. But I didn’t like it and I quit. I have been working for automotive company for almost 5 years now and I have been happy so far. Living in the city gave me opportuneness for job.

Moreover, city means more people, more ideas for all of us and there are much more innovative things going in the city. Cities has always impact on me. I met so many different people from all over the world. Once we had a discussion with my other engineer friends about the new mechanic component design. We did a very powerful brainstorm there was so many great ideas. In the end of this design we were able to create an innovative design because of our brainstorm.

All in all, I believe that cities are much better than countries because getting a better education, more jobs and, more people with lots of ideas can made much better influence in humans future.

TOEFL listening lectures: The lecturer uses the Gandara culture as an example of what?

Hi, I enjoyed reading your essay. You have a great structure and very good arguments and plenty of relevant examples. Unfortunately you also have quite a few grammatical errors, awkward sounding phrases, and incorrect verb tenses. Overall I would rate this essay a 3.5 out of 5, but be advised that my revised grading criteria are a bit more strict.

Are you really a mechanical engineer? I am trained as an electrical engineer. I used to design factory automation and machine motion controls. I worked in a few automotive accessory factories like Johnson Controls - have you heard of this company?

By the way, I didn’t mean to put you on the spot if you are not actually an engineer. It is perfectly fine to make up examples and I wonder why more TOEFL writers don’t do it. If you can’t think of an example, just make one up and pretending it is personal makes it more convincing.

Hi thank you very much for spending your time on my essay. Yes I m mechanical engineer and also international welding engineer. I haven’t heard that company. Im living in the Indianapolis now i have been in USA for 4 months and trying to improve my english at english school. Not only I hadn’t known anything about grammar but also I hadn’t spoken any english before i came here :). I wanna get master degree thats why I’m studying this TOEFL :slight_smile: .

And also yeah ur grading criteria is bit strict. I knew that some of my friend took 3.5 without any good vocabulary and also grammar :). if u gave this 3.5 I think ets might give between 4 - 5 :slight_smile: .

Hmm, I looked at several websites comparing different level essays to try to calibrate my scoring. But if I am indeed wrong, it is better that the test takers be pleasantly surprised than come back disappointed saying, “You said I would get a 5!”