Essay: Camping is the ideal way of spending a holiday

Hi everyone. I’m practicing for B1+ English exam, where I have to write 160-170 words essay but I never seem to fit in.
Could you please rate my essay? Thanks in advance.

Camping is the ideal way of spending a holiday.

A holiday is made the best period of time for many people by busy schedules and tiring work and in my opinion, a perfect way to spend it is to go camping, since we already spend most of our time in the city and it gives us opportunity to go out in nature and make new friends.
To begin with, we get in touch with nature while camping. For most of us, our everyday life is associated with busy urban area, with its traffic and noise. When we go camping we leave the city life behind and enjoy the beauty of nature and really experience the world. Moreover, camping is a great help to mental health, we escape from the stress of the city and feel relaxed the whole time in the calm atmosphere of nature.
Secondly, we gain new friends. There are a lot of camping tours and if we go into one, we will interact with new people, with whom we might have a lot in common with and end up being friends, however, if you go camping with your own friends, it still helps you to form a stronger bond with them and get to know them better.
Due to above mentioned facts, I believe that by making people closer to nature and letting them make new friends in such atmosphere, camping is the ideal way to spend a holiday.

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Hi Marie, welcome to our forum. Your essay is a perfect B1 so you shouldn’t worry about your exam at all.

Best regards,
Torsten

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Thank you, Torsten. Were there any significant mistakes? I’m curious about the articles.

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I can’t find any ‘significant errors’ and I do think that your use of the articles is pretty solid. It would be interesting to learn more about you as a person. Where are you from, what is your native language, why are you learning English?

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Thank you again. I’m from Georgia, or as we call it, Sakartvelo, the wine country. We have our own language and writing system, Georgian. I’m currently learning English to apply at university. How about you?

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Very interesting. So, your native language is Georgian? I have a couple of friends who are from Georgia some of whom use Russian as their native language while others speak Georgian as their mother tongue. What subjects do you want to study at university and where? As for me, I’m from Germany.

Hello Marie,

Thank you for submitting your essay so I have a chance to read, think, and revise. It helps me improve my writing and editing skills as well. There is one point I need to tell that I am not an English expert or teacher but an English learner like you. It implies that my revise might not be perfect. I hope it helps. Thanks!

Busy schedules and tiring work make a holiday the best period for many people. In my opinion, a perfect way to spend it is to go camping, since we already spend most of our time in the city and it allows us to go out in nature and make new friends.

To begin with, we get in touch with nature while camping. Our everyday life is associated with a busy urban area surrounding traffic and noise. When we go camping, we leave the city life behind and enjoy the beauty of nature and experience the world. Moreover, camping is a great help to mental health, we escape from the stress of the city and feel relaxed the whole time in the calm atmosphere of nature.

Secondly, we gain new friends. There are a lot of camping tours. If we go into one, we will interact with new people. We might have a lot in common with them and end up being friends. However, if we go camping with our friends, it still helps us form a stronger bond and get to know them better.

Due to the facts mentioned above, I believe that by making people closer to nature and letting them make new friends in such an atmosphere, camping is ideal for spending a holiday.

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@Marie As Torsten says, it is a good essay for your grade. A scan through the content is sure to satisfy the examiner or the evaluator. The opening and the flow are excellent. When we come to the concluding part, the phrase Due to the facts mentioned above, is not effective. You could replace it just by So which, in my opinion, will be more natural.

Note that how you begin and how you end an essay capture the attention of the reader.

Well, keep it up!

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I do see many people use the phrase “Due to the facts mentioned above” when they come to the concluding part. So I think it is just a matter of style and nothing wrong with it. What do you think, Torsten?

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The phrase might be grammatically correct but it sounds very awkward and contrived.

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Thank you, Torsten! Does it sound better if I use the following paragraph as the conclusion?

That’s why I believe that camping is ideal for spending a holiday. It allows people closer to nature and provides them a chance to make new friends.

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Well, I like this conclusion much more because it’s easier to read and understand. Just one little thing:

It’s better if you add a noun after ‘closer’ such as ‘closer contact’.

It allows people closer contact to nature and provides them a chance to make new friends.

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You have a very good and interesting essay. I think you will pass the exam. If you have trouble writing in the future, I recommend using the essay service.Recently I needed expert help in writing a good essay and I turned to the service, the result pleased me.

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Thank for letting me know. I am good with my writing now.

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Hello Torsten,

Thank you for your reply. However, I do not think " it allows people closer contact to nature…" is grammatically correct. Maybe the following two sentences are better.

It allows people to contact nature and provides them a chance to make new friends.

It allows people to be closer to nature and provides them a chance to make new friends.

Sarah

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Hi Sarah, yes these two sentences sound much better.

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