Essay - best time to go on vacation

[Nbabichev]

Please, can somebody assess my independent essay

Prompt:
When is the best time to go on a vacation? Support your argument using examples and reasons.

In my opinion the summer is the best season for vacation. Summer is warm, it lets to rest all the family, allows to attend places that are not so good in other seasons. Every summer vacation left great impressions and memories.

For starters, I think that most of people like warm and clear weather. I do so from my childhood. I like my summer vacation because I can swim, play football, hike and many other interesting things. And of course, sometimes it is impossible to work in summer at all for its hot in our city. If I do not have a summer vacation I would be sitting in stuffy office. Why must I spend this precious time on my work?

Next, in summer I can spend more time with my little kids because they have a vacation too and it is not optional. Moreover, I can not find enough time for my family during the rest of the year. So the summer is perfect for me to acquit. For example, we have already planned to go to the sea this summer and prepared for it thoroughly. I think the vacation with family is one of the best ways of rest.

Finally, I want to say that the summer is good time to travel by car. I am from Russia and we have a severe weather all the seasons except the summer. Therefore, we try to use this time in maximum. For instance, last summer I rode about the entire Black Sea coast. So I have great memories this winter which warm me up.

To sum up, I assert that summer is the best time for vacations. Summer holidays are unforgettable for their warm weather, unique experience and chance to be with my family entirely.

TOEFL listening lectures: What does the professor say about utopian socialists?

[Beeesneees]

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[Nbabichev]

@Beeesneees

TITLE EDITED.
Please help everyone to make the most of this forum and its resources by giving your threads meaningful and relevant subject lines.

Ok, thank you. I will do this. It was my first experience on this forum.

[Luschen]

Hi Nbabichev, welcome to the forum. I thought you did a pretty good job with this essay, though your introduction was a little weak. Your writing was clear and understandable and you addressed the topic well with good examples. You do have some incorrect word usages though and errors in some of your sentence construction. A few of these made your writing a little vague or ambiguous in places. This is almost a 4, but I think I have to rate it a 3.5 out of 5.

@Nbabichev

Please, can somebody assess my independent essay

Prompt:
When is the best time to go on a vacation? Support your argument using examples and reasons.

In my opinion the summer is the best season for vacation. Summer is warm, it lets to rest all the family [rest],{why is Summer particularly restful?} [and] allows [one] to attend places that are not so good in other seasons. Every summer vacation left great impressions and memories.{it is best to put your thesis statement at the end of your introduction. I would shorten and combine these reasons, add them to your thesis statement, and begin your introduction with a couple more general sentences about vacation or seasons.}

For starters, I think that most of people like warm and clear weather. I [have] do[ne] so from my childhood. I like my summer vacation because I can swim, play football, hike and [do] many other interesting things.{avoid using “things” - try to be more specific - here you could say “activities”} And of course, sometimes it is impossible to work in summer at all for it[ is] hot in our city. If I d[id] not have a summer vacation I would be sitting in [a] stuffy office. Why must I spend this precious time on my work?

Next, in summer I can spend more time with my little kids because they have a vacation too and it is not optional.{“, which is not optional” is more clear because I don’t know if the vacation is not optional or spending time with your kids is not optional} Moreover, I can not find enough time for my family during the rest of the year. So the summer is perfect for me to acquit.{“acquit” is wrong here} For example, we have already planned to go to the sea this summer and prepared for it thoroughly. I think the[a ] vacation with family is one of the best ways of[to] rest.

Finally, I want to say that the summer is [a] good time to travel by car. I am from Russia and we have a severe weather all the seasons except the summer. Therefore, we try to use this time [to the]in maximum. For instance, last summer I rode about[around] the entire Black Sea coast. So I have great memories [of] this [summer]winter which warm me up [during the cold winter].

To sum up, I assert that summer is the best time for vacations. Summer holidays are unforgettable for their warm weather, unique experience {this sounds like the summer holidays have experience - maybe “unique experiences they offer”} and [the] chance to be with my [entire] family entirely.

TOEFL listening lectures: What does the professor say about utopian socialists?

[Nbabichev]

Dear Luschen, I am grateful to you for your assessment, especially because it is the very first appraisal of my essays. Now I can see weak sides of my work and I will try to improve my writing skills. Thanks a lot!