May you correct my mistakes in the following essay?
Many people think that we do not need printed newspapers any more. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?
Many people think that we do not need printed newspapers any more. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?
Newspapers are one of the main means of mass media having a leading role in improvement the culture and information of societies. With the hectic pace of technology advancement nowadays many people are of the opinion that the demand of printed newspapers has been dramatically decreased, hence we can rely on electronic version and in near future publication of paper will change into online instead of printed ones.
I personally hold the idea that reading online requires some basic elements which are not available for everyone. In most parts of the developing countries, electronic device suitable for reading online, or access to the Internet is far from guarantee to be available for all members of the society. In addition to this, a new research recently released by faculty of human science and sociology of UCLA is saying that most senior citizens in developed countries prefer to read printed newspaper due to lack of competency in electronic devices and problems they usually face while using the Internet.
Reading a printed novel can induce a kind of peace and good feelings to me in a way that I cannot compare it while reading the exact texts on a digital gadget. In addition to this I like to be away from virtual world and relax for some hours without technology, so then I believe reading a printed newspaper is a reasonable reason for this purpose.
In conclusion I would like to draw your kind attention to the point that no one I included cannot reject the benefits of an online paper such as strong archive of previous editions, being environmentally friendly and possibility of searching a single word out of billion corpus, but comparing the mentioned positive points I strongly hold the idea that we still need printed newspaper besides its drawbacks.
Newspapers is one of the main means of mass media having a leading role in making the society more cultured and informed. With the hectic pace of advanced technology, many people nowadays are of the opinion that the demand for printed newspapers has been dramatically decreased and we become more dependent on their electronic copies. In near future publication of papers is expected to shift towards online instead of printed versions.
Personally, I hold the idea that online reading requires some basic elements which are not available for everyone. In most parts of the developing countries, electronic device suitable for reading online, or access to the Internet is far from guaranteed for all members of the society. In addition, a new research recently released by faculty of human science and sociology of UCLA is saying that most senior citizens in developed countries prefer printed newspapers due to lack of competency in electronic devices and problems they usually face while using the Internet.
Reading a printed novel can bring about a kind of peace and good feelings to me, in a way that I cannot compare it with reading that same text on a digital gadget. In addition, I like to enjoy the real world*and relax for some hours without technology, so I believe reading a printed newspaper is a proper activity if you want a respite.
In conclusion, I would like to draw your attention to the fact that although no one, me included, cannot reject the benefits of an online paper, such as its being environmentally friendly; huge archives of previous editions combined with the possibility of searching a single word in the billion-strong corpus; weighing all the above-mentioned, I strongly hold the idea that we still need a printed newspaper despite its drawbacks.
*The original sounds as if you were living in the virtual world.
First, I’m not a native English speaker myself.
Second, I don’t consider myself a teacher or tutor, just one who has spent some time trying to understand how English works. You cannot keep in your memory all the necessary words but you should stick to the patterns English native speakers usually follow.
Well, it shows. I mean, the constructions like, “information of societies”, “publication… will change into online instead of printed ones”, “a reasonable reason for this purpose” sound… not-so English.
Otherwise you understand what you’re writing about, your examples sound persuasive. I would just avoid lengthy passages where you can get lost and forget what it was originally about. People who will read your essay, do know the worth of every English word, don’t try to over-impress. Be logical and try to avoid grammatical or logical lapses instead. Simpler but neater. It reads much easier than a long-winded sequence of words you’re struggling to somehow bring to an end.
P.S. From your posts, I see how eager you are to better your English. I believe this forum is the right place. Honestly.
Thank you so much for the time you dedicated. your comments are really appreciated by me and I am sure you know that I respect your viewpoints.
Do you see any improvement between this essay and the one I wrote some months ago?
