Educating children is expensive.

[Huganegi]

Hi Luschen, could you help me check and grade it in Ielts bandscore. Thank you in advance!

Topic: Children educating is expensive. In some countries, the gorvernment pay partly or all education fees. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

It is undeniable that peple have to equip themselves with more knowledge in this modern world to advoid being backward. Some nationalites; for instance, Germany, Canada, Russia and so on are paying all fees at school for children. Though there are numerous advantages to this trend, I believe that many disadvantages exist which will now be explained.

On the other hand, with the financial support from government for education area, more and more children can go to school to acquire useful knowledge. Since parents now do not to bear the school fees burden, they will encourge their sons and daughters to go to school. As a result, citizen is likely to receive new global progress. Moreover, if children all go to school they will be taught to behave rightly and how to be a good one. It leads to the reduction of crime and injustice.

However, I would argue that there are some disadvantages of this fact. If the government afford a part or even all school fees there will be a significant pressure on state’s budget. Therefore, the authority can not deal with some pubic expenditure such as: healthcare, insurance, etc. Futhermore, children in this circumstance may be not pay attention to their study because even they go to school or not they do not have to pay money for education.

In conclusion, it seems that the government share financial burden of school fees has benefits. However, it still exists lots of drawbacks. Therefore, each country have to spend this matter a lot of thoughts before taking a decision.

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture from a social science class

[Beeesneees]

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[Luschen]

Hi Huganegi, I think you did a pretty good job with this one. Your essay is relevant to the prompt and organized well. I think your reasoning is good, but you have quite a few minor errors and a few sentences that sounded odd plus a couple others that were unclear to me. Overall, I would rate this a band 6.

@Huganegi

Hi Luschen, could you help me check and grade it in Ielts bandscore. Thank you in advance!

Topic: Children educating [children] is expensive. In some countries, the go[v]ernment pay[s ] partly or all education fees. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

It is undeniable that peple have to equip themselves with more knowledge in this modern world to advoid [avoid] being backward. Some nationalites;{comma} for instance, Germany, Canada, Russia and so on[,] are paying all fees at school for children. Though there are numerous advantages to this trend, I believe that many disadvantages exist which will now be explained.

On the other hand, with the financial support from government for [the area of] education area, more and more children can go to school to acquire useful knowledge. Since parents now[then] do not to bear the school fees burden, they will encourge their sons and daughters to go to school. As a result, [the] citizen[s ] is[are] likely to receive new global progress. {“receive progress” sounds a little odd - maybe “make progress”} Moreover, if children all go to school they will be taught to behave rightly and how to be a good [members of society] one. It leads {“will lead” or “would lead” seem better} to the reduction of crime and injustice.

However, I would argue that there are some disadvantages of this fact.{“policy” is better here} If the government afford{“finances” is better} a part or even all school fees there will be a significant pressure on [the] state’s budget. Therefore, the authorit[ies] can not deal with some pubic expenditure[s] such as:{no punctuation here} healthcare, insurance, etc. Futhermore, children in this circumstance may be not pay attention to their study because even they go to school {“because even they go to school” is unclear to me here - what is this sentence trying to say?} or not they do not have to pay money for education.

In conclusion, it seems that the government shar[ing the] financial burden of school fees has benefits. However, it still exists[has] lots of drawbacks. Therefore, each country ha[s ] to spend[give] this matter a lot of thoughts[thought] before taking a decision.

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture from a social science class

[Huganegi]

Thank you very much Luschen! Could you please recommend how to improve bandscore for this task. I have tried to write some essays but it’s still in band 6.