Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Younger school children (a

What younger school children learned in school plays a crucial role in determining whether they will be more likely to succeed in their future career.Some people asserted that children should only learn academic courses such as mathmatics, science and history.However,considerable though the merits these courses bring about, they cannot compete with the benefits,from my personal perspective, that from the art and music courses when they are taken into our consideration in development of children.

First and foremost, no one could deny the essential fact that art and music education will definitely enhance student appreciating ability.It impart them a sense of deep insight about beauty,thus they may detect the niceness around them.But some people may go into question at the mere mention of the fact that this artistic knowledge is so abstract that these younger children cannot understand.Contrary to the viewpoint of many people is my heart-felt agreenment with the idea that art can provide children with an unfamiliar world.When they are faced with the masterpiece,they may obtain a direct perception of what beaty is,instead of a abstract conprehension of elegancy.For example,when I was a little girl my parents send me to have some artistic class,what really impressed me is that I am aware of how imaginative the area of art is.Because I have a access to the art world ,I established a sense of innovation when I contact with a new thing.

Apart from this it is inevitably to recognize that art and music class provide a avenue for us to release our pressure from other intricate courses like mathmatic.We could not imagine that without the break given by art classes, how can any child devoted themselves into futher complicated courses.Statistic showed by the researcher said that more and more people bear much study burden on them,so in this case,school should arrange some easiest courses such as art and music classes to release the pressure.Thus, after a short break the students could concentrate their mind on complex courses after they enjoyed themselves in the art and music .We should never,therefore,be blind to the advantages that art and music study lead to .

Nevertheless,although,what is undeniable is that other academic courses also contribute greatly to the students.Art and music class only inform us about artistic sensibility ,on the other hand, what we can learned from the academic knowledge is the ability to think more systematically and logically.Without the academic episteme,which is indispensable to our career,we scarcely achieve our goal in time.
For example,if the scentist only have a aesthetic taste for one thing ,he may lack the acuity of finding fault in scientific investigation.
Hence,to some extent academic knowledge undoubtedly promote the social development.

In conclusion,both academic courses such as mathmatic and science and art courses produce a far-reaching influence on the growing of chlidren.Significant endeavor must be placed into out mind to keep a balanced between art and science.

TOEFL listening discussions: What will the student try to do with his next essay?

What younger school children LEARN in school plays a crucial role in determining whether they will be more likely to succeed in their future career.Some people HAVE asserted that children should only learn academic courses, such as mathmatics, science and history.However,considerable though the merits these courses bring about, they cannot compete with the benefits,from my personal perspective, that from the art and music courses when they are taken into our consideration in THE development of children.

First and foremost, no one could deny the essential fact that art and music education will definitely enhance THE studentS appreciating ability.It impartS IN them a sense of deep insight about beauty,thus they may detect the niceness around them,but some people may go into questionING MODE at the mere mention of the fact that this artistic knowledge is so abstract that these younger children cannot understand.Contrary to the viewpoint of many people is my heart-felt agreement with the idea that art can provide children with an unfamiliar world.When they are faced with A masterpiece,they may obtain a direct perception of what beaUty is,instead of a abstract coMprehension of elegancE.For example,when I was a little girl my parents senT me to have some artistic classES,(.)What really impressed me WAS that I WAS aware of how imaginative the area of art is.Because I WAS GIVEN access to the art world ,I established a sense of innovation when I contact with a new thing.

Apart from this it is inevitablE to recognize that art and music classES provide aN avenue for us to release our pressure from other intricate courses like mathmatic.We could not imagine that without the break given by art classes, how can any child devote themselves into fuRther complicated courses.Statistic showN by the researcher said that more and more people bear TOO much study burdenS on themSELVES,so in this case,school should arrange some easieR courses such as art and music classes to release the pressure.Thus, after a short break the students could concentrate their mindS on complex courses after they enjoyed themselves in the art and music CLASSES.We should never,therefore,be blind to the advantages that art and music study lead to .

Nevertheless,although,what is undeniable is that other academic courses also contribute greatly to the students.Art and music classES only inform us about artistic sensibility ,on the other hand, what we can learn from the academic knowledge is the ability to think more systematically and logically.Without the academic episteme,which is indispensable to our career,we scarcely achieve our goal in time.
For example,if the scIentist only have a aesthetic taste for one thing ,he may lack the acuity of finding fault in scientific investigation.
Hence,to some extent academic knowledge undoubtedly promoteS the social development.

In conclusion,both academic courses such as MATHEMATICS and science and art courses produce a far-reaching influence on the growing of chILdren.Significant endeavor must be placed into ouR mindS to keep a BALANCE between art and science.
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Although it is quite good, I think it is far too long, plus your punctuation is all wrong.
Try to concentrate of the important aspects of your topic and be concise. There is nothing wrong with this work except it being too long and badly punctuated.

Kitos. 8.5/10

thanks a lot!could you please point out some punctuation mistakes for me.actually i am not proficient in organizing my language,how can i perfect my vocabulary in writing my composition