do you agree or disagree with the following statement? parents

Topic: Do you agree or disagree with the statement? Parents should hide their negative emotions, such as anger or sorrow from their children.
There are many different opinions about that statement that parents should hide their negative emotions, such as anger or sorrow from their children. Each side has own reasons to support for their standpoint. Personally, I think that parents should hide their negative emotions from children for several reasons bellow.
In the family, children need to be relaxed. In the modern life, children have to face many problems, such as diseases, crimes, sexual problems. Every day, they are suffered much negative pressure in school and society. Life becomes more complex and difficult for children who are innocent and sensitive. Therefore, family is a good place where they will not face these problems, and their development will become better with their parents’ hands.
If parents have negative emotions and express them to children, they will become more stressful. From this, their ordinary life will be affected; their behaviors could be changed negatively. They can become isolated in their relationships. They do not want to confine with anyone even if their parents, friends. Possibly, they will become anger with their friends or anyone who has opposite opinions with them or people who they feel unpleasant, or they will disrespect to their teacher. Many problems and unexpected behaviors will happen.
Sometimes, parents express their negative emotions from their children can have advantages. For example, children can learn ways to deal with unpleased things, especially with the help of their parents. However, the disadvantages are more overweight than advantages. Therefore, hiding negative emotions is better for the development of children.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a student and a registration clerk during registration week

Topic: Do you agree or disagree with the statement? Parents should hide their negative emotions, such as anger or sorrow from their children.
There are many different opinions about that statement that parents should hide their negative emotions, such as anger or sorrow from their children. Each side has ITS own reasons to support for their standpoint. Personally, I think that parents should hide their negative emotions from children for THE several reasons below.

In the family, children need to be relaxed. In the modern life, children have to face many problems, such as diseases, crimes, sexual problems. Every day, they are suffer much negative pressure in school and society. Life becomes more complex and difficult for children who are innocent and sensitive. Therefore, A family is a good place where they will not face these problems, and their development will become better AT their parents’ hands.
If parents have negative emotions and express them to children, they will become more stressful. From this, their ordinary life will be affected; their behaviors could be changed negatively. They can become isolated in their relationships. They do not want to confine with anyone even IN their parents friends. Possibly, they will become angRY with their friends or anyone who has opposite opinions TO them or people who they feel ARE unpleasant, or they will SHOW disrespect to their teacher. Many problems and unexpected behaviors will happen.
Sometimes, parents expressING their negative emotions IN FRONT OF their children can have advantages. For example, children can learn ways to deal with unpleasANT things, especially with the help of their parents. However, the disadvantages are more overweight than advantages. Therefore, hiding negative emotions is better for the development of children.
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Not bad Trung. A few more examples would have improved it though.

Kitos. 7.5/10

Hi Trung,
You should pay attention to the organization of your essay! Make it clearer!
Good night!
Good Night My MENTOR!