Hello, everyone. I’m Alexa, and I’m little nervous to show you my post because I know it is pretty poor. Anyway, it’s for IELTS writing task 2. Please read it carefully and tell me how to revise it for band 7 or more! Thank you^^
These modern societies where we live were built on the base of the Industrial Revolution. Were it not for, human never could enjoy convenience that we lead now. However, on the other hand, growth of society has caused high reliance on fuel, so fossil fuel is used everywhere nowadays to maintain the routine of society making big effect on human beings’ lives.
Even though numerous advantages of using fossil fuels, there is an obvious danger we should focus on. That is the environmental problem. As we know, burning fossil fuel makes enormous amount of harmful materials, and the materials emitted in the air pollute the air. Furthermore, polluted air can be a serious threat to mankind. The London smog accident in 1950s is a good example of it. When the London smog accident occurred, lots of people lost their lives because of smog in the air. And the consistence of smog was toxic materials discharged from factories when they burned fossil fuels.
To prevent this environmental problem, human beings should reduce the use of fossil fuels and increase the use of alternative energy resources such as wind, hydrogen, and nuclear power. Since these resources provide us clean and renewable energy, we can not only be free from the horror of environmental disaster, but also use enough energy as we have done until now.
In a nutshell, it is undeniable that growth of countries increases demand for fuel. As societies grow, man needs energy more and more. But using fossil fuel for energy resource would damage nature and human beings. Therefore, we should try to decrease our reliance on fossil fuel from now on. As an old maxim said, “Better late than never.”
TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a student and his counselor