Dear teacher, Please help me check my IELTS Writing task 1!

image
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of the sports played in New Zealand in 2002 and compared the percentage between woman and man athlete. Overall, the most common sport for girls was netball and for boys, it was soccer.
According to the graph, there are 5 sports that had less player than others, they are cricket, athletics, marital arts, basketball and tennis. In particularly, the percentage of male players in cricket and marital arts was 10% and 8%, much more higher than the female’s proportion which accounted for 2% and 3% respectively . In contrast, the amount of female athletes in athletics was a bit higher than male athletes about 2 percent. Basketball and tennis are the two sports that had more balance player, for basketball their female proportion was 6% while male was 7% and for tennis, it was 7% for femal and 8% for male.
The remained sports which include netball, soccer, swimming and other sports were sports that played by many people in New Zealand. Netball was the sport that occupied the highest amount of female athlete ( about 26%), while their male athlete’s number was relatively low, approximately at 2%. Swimming which accounted for the second highest proportion of female athlete and for other sports, they had the second highest amount of male players. In term of soccer, most of their players was male which accounted for 24%.

1 Like

The bar chart shows the proportion of sports played in New Zealand in 2002 and compares the proportion of female and male athletes. Overall, the most common sport for girls was netball and for boys it was soccer.
According to the graph, there are 5 sports that had less players than others, they are cricket, athletics, martial arts, basketball and tennis. In particular, the proportion of male players in cricket and martial arts was 10% and 8%, much higher than the proportion of female players which was 2% and 3% respectively. In contrast, the proportion of female athletes in athletics was slightly higher than male athletes, about 2 percent. Basketball and tennis are the two sports that had more balance players, for basketball their female proportion was 6% while male was 7% and for tennis, it was 7% for female and 8% for male.
The remaining sports which include netball, soccer, swimming and other sports were sports that were played by many people in New Zealand. Netball was the sport that occupied the highest amount of female athlete (about 26%), while its male athlete’s number was relatively low, about 2%. Swimming had the second highest proportion of female athletes, and for other sports, they had the second highest amount of male players. In terms of soccer, most of their players were male, which accounted for 24%.

1 Like

Thank you so much teacher!

1 Like