this topic is so hard for me.i think maybe this is the worst one i wrote. i really had no idia how to write it, but at least i finished it. please revise it for me and give me some advice on how to think topics like this. thank you
In the world map there are more than 200 countries and each of them represents more than one culture, but many of the culture disappear in the long run of the history. In the ancient time there are many tribes separated on the earth. Each of them has its own dancing, majority of them have approximate meaning, praying for the god or goddess. I strongly hold the opinion that dancing plays an important role in a culture.
Different culture use different dancing styles to express their sense towards the world. In some culture, disco is a way of escaping from the pressure from work, school, or family. While in some African culture, dancing is a way to pray for god to give more rain for their grass and this indicates their poor survival condition. In my own culture, every year after harvest, we would have a big gathering called Meshrep. It is not a religious dancing party, but we all get together and dance with a style called Sama, in which all people dance in a circle doing the same performance and express our happiness of the harvest and thanks to the god. Via the dance, we can discern the differences in culture.
Besides, dancing is a good means to learn a new culture. Almost all the culture exist in ancient times already disappeared now, but archaeologist can tell most information about the disappearing culture through the paintings in the cavern, which are about the dancing style of the ancient people. Nowadays, we can also understand a new culture by leaning their dance. For instance, last time I went to Spain, I encounter a group of people dancing just in the middle of the plaza and anyone who comes across can join the dancing. So did me. During the dancing time, I learn a lot about these people. I can say without doubt that these people are very outgoing and enjoying their cozy life and slow-pace work.
To wrap up, dancing has passed the greatest test, the test of time. So I can say without hesitation that dance is of great importance in any culture. It is the same today that it always was, and it will never change.
ON the world map OF THE WORLD there are more than 200 countries and each of them represents more than one culture, but many of the cultureS HAVE disappear /in the long run of the history/WITH THE PASSAGE OF TIME/. In the ancient timeS there are WERE many tribes separated on the earth. Each of them has HAD THEIR its own CULTURAL dancES(.) THE majority of them have HAD AN approximate APPROPRIATE /meaning/SIGNIFICANCE/, praying for DISPLAYING THEIR LOVE FOR theIR god or goddess.
I strongly hold the opinion that dancing plays an important role in a culture.
Different cultureS use different dancing styles to express their sense towards the world. In some cultureS, disco is a way of escaping from the pressureS from OF work, school, or family. While in some African cultureS, dancing is a way to pray for godS to give BRING more rain for their grass, and this indicates their poor survival condition EXISTENCE. In my own culture, every year after harvest, we would have a big gathering called Meshrep. It is not a religious dancing party, but we all get together and dance with a style called Sama, in which all people dance in a circle doing the same performance and express our happiness AT the harvest and OFFER thanks to the god. Via the dance, we can discern the differences in culture.
Besides, dDancing is a good means to learn a new culture. Almost all the cultureS THAT existED in ancient times HAVE already disappeared now, but archaeologist can tell most GATHER information about the disappearing culture through the paintings in the cavernS, which are about the dancing style of the ancient people. Nowadays, we can also understand a new culture by leaRning their danceS. For instance, last time I went to Spain, I encounterED a group of people dancing just in the middle of the plaza, and anyone who CAME across COULD join the dancing. So did me. During the dancing time, I learnED a lot about these people. I can say without doubt that these people are very outgoing and enjoying their cozy life and slow-pace work.
To wrap upCONCLUDE, dancing has passed the greatest test, the test of time. So I can say without hesitation that dance is of great importance in any culture. It is the same today AS it always was, and it will never change.
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I found that to be an interesting essay Eysa. You will develop your own style slowly, and I’m confident in your abilities to become a very good writer. Keep reading.
thanks kitos.
yesterday you said that my orginazation is very poor, i was thingking about it, but find no answer. can you tell me which kind of orginization is good?
can you tell me in detail what should i notice when i am orginizing my essay?
Good morning Eysa. This essay is far better simply because you were writing only about dancing, therefore it was almost impossible to be disorganised so long as you adhered to the theme.
“Besides” would not be used to begin a sentence in formal writing. You can use it when writing to a friend.