Hi Mr. Luschen
Can you help me correct my essay? Thank you so much.
Some people think that a crime is a result of social problems and poverty, others think that crime is a result of bad person’s nature. Discuss and give your opinion.
While some people think that objective factors, such as social issues or poverty, are the main cause of crimes, others persist that crime is a result of bad person’s nature. In my opinion, both ideas are applicable to different cases, which will be discussed later.
To begin with, ongoing social problems and poverty could result in crimes. Firstly, parents nowadays are too busy with their work. Some adults in countryside have to relocate to urban areas to seek well-paid jobs, leaving their children in their hometowns with grandparents. As a result, the lack of essential parental guidance at early ages is clearly a contributor to the rise of juvenile crimes. In addition, those who are living in poverty could easily become pickpocket as they are under the need of food and money for their families and for themselves.
On the other hand, one’s nature should also be a cause of crimes in the societies. Criminal rates are normally high in unemployed group as a number of people become stagnant and unmotivated to find jobs that are suitable to their capabilities. They might choose to wander in public areas to steal mobile phones of unguarded people instead. For greedy individuals, they are likely to favor drug-dealing since they can earn a great deal from it in a short time without having to put much effort in working like normal citizens.
In conclusion, it seems to me that current social problems, poverty, and individual nature can clearly be the result of crimes in many countries.
[quote=“P.quanghuy21, post:1, topic:144910, full:true”]
Hi Mr. Luschen
Can you help me correct my essay? Thank you so much.
Some people think that a crime is a result of social problems and poverty, others think that crime is a result of bad person’s nature. Discuss and give your opinion.
While some people think that objective factors, such as social issues or poverty, are the main cause of crimes, others persist that crime is a result of bad person’s nature. In my opinion, both ideas are applicable to different cases, which will be discussed later.
Hi,
As promised I am making some changes using capital letters so that you can see my corrections -
To begin with, ongoing social problems and poverty could result in crimes. Firstly, parents nowadays are too busy with their work. Some adults in THE countryside have to relocate to urban areas to seek well-paid jobs, leaving their children in their hometowns with grandparents. As a result, the lack of essential parental guidance at THE early ages is clearly a contributor to the rise of juvenile crimes. In addition, those who are living in poverty could easily become pickpocketS as they are IN need of food and money for their families and for themselves.
On the other hand, one’s nature should also be a cause of crimes in SOCIETY. Criminal rates are normally high in AN unemployed group as a number of people become INACTIVE and unmotivated to find jobs that are suitable to their capabilities. They might choose to wander in public areas to steal mobile phones FROM unguarded people instead. For greedy individuals, they are likely to favor drug-dealing since they can earn a great deal from it in a short time without having to put much effort in working like normal citizens.
In conclusion, it seems to me that current social problems, poverty, and individual nature can clearly be the CAUSES of crimes in many countries.