I am going to submit cover letter together with other documents to apply of a postdoctoral position.
Could you help me to edit my letter?
Thank you very much.
Dear Dr…,
This letter is to express my interest in a postdoctoral position advertized on Tedjob.com. My background has given me the hands-on experience in virological researches that are related to your department’s projects.
I am a student from the University of Tokyo and will be graduating in March 2011. During the Master course, I succeeded in investigating the multiple combinations of P[13]-like genotype with G3, G4, and G5 in porcine rotaviruses. Currently, I’m carrying out the research in the field of diarrhea viruses in Japan for my Ph.D.
After I obtained the Master degree, I had an excellent opportunity to learn a variety of the scientific and technical skills as researcher at Department of Microbiology, Siriraj Hospital, Mahidol University. My work aims to develop a simple assay to differentiate influenza viruses with alpha2,3- or alpha2,6-linked receptor-binding preference. Through this project, I have also become familiar with growing H5H1 viruses, culturing MDCK, Vero, 293T, and A549 cell lines, and using BSL3 laboratory for the experiment.
I have enclosed my CV which provides additional details about my research for your review. I believe I can contribute intelligence, experience, and enthusiasm to your project. If you require any further information, I can be reached via e-mail wchanit@ yahoo.com.
I want to emphasize on my experiences acquired through working at Department of Microbiology, Siriraj Hospital, Mahidol University because the position I am looking for is related to those experiences. The consequence of this letter is okay?
As previously stated, colons are often preferred after salutations in formal letters. You don’t have to identify your letter as one. They know that before reading a word. The opening was altered because it was highly generic, impersonal, and tentative in its enthusiasm, a questionable cover letter choice. “Related” is also tentative and presumably a bit demure since it seems you have done a lot with this exact subject matter.
You misspelled “advertised,” but I replaced it anyway because it is futile to point out where they advertised the position. They know this, and they know which one they have open. Sometimes they will ask this in Internet forms because they want to know which ad site drew the most people.
I rearranged some things to make your essay more readable. It’s difficult to follow an essay that goes whimsically in and out of different experiences you have had.
We differentiate between things, or we differentiate something from another. We don’t just differentiate one thing or another.
It is a good idea to use semicolons to separate items in a list where at least one item contains commas itself. It’s much easier to read.
You required a comma before “which.” You have no other CV that does not have those characteristics, so a restrictive (or defining) clause is not appropriate. You just wanted to add information about the CV, but since that information was redundant, I omitted it altogether.
You certainly make the case for your experience in this cover letter, but at the end you premise your case on enthusiasm and intelligence. The latter is self-evident given your experience, but the former leaves more to be desired. You never do say why you actually enjoy this work or why it matters to you. You need not be cloying when and if you decide to add such a paragraph, which I strongly recommend, but you do need to connect this to you as a person. A key component of the cover letter is to showcase yourself apart from what can be gleaned from your resume. You did a good job at pointing out the nature of your research, its successes and its goals. You need to say why this matters to you and what you get out of it, though.
I would add my phone number if I had one. It makes you more accessible, and since you really want this position, why not be more available?
This is version I intend to write. Please help me to read it again.
I am a student at the University of Tokyo and will be graduating in March 2011. During my master studies, I succeeded in investigating the multiple combinations of P[13]-like genotype with G3, G4, and G5 in porcine rotaviruses. After obtaining my master’s degree, I learned various scientific and technical skills as a researcher in Mahidol University’s Department of Microbiology, Siriraj Hospital. My work aims to develop a simple assay to differentiate between influenza viruses with alpha2,3- and alpha2,6-linked receptor-binding preference. Through this project, I have also become familiar with growing H5H1 viruses; culturing MDCK, Vero, 293T and A549 cell lines; and using the BSL3 laboratory for the experiment. Currently, I am researching diarrhea viruses in children for my Ph.D.
I see I mistakenly wrote “undergraduate.” That should have been “graduate.” But if you are going to use “master,” it should be “master’s.”
Mahidol University’s Department of Microbiology, Siriraj Hospital.
I do not like the way you set off the hospital’s name parenthetically. Unless the university’s whole department is at that hospital, this is odd. Even then I would write “at” in this type of document. If it is not just there, I would say include a clause.
" … , which allowed me to work at Siriraj Hospital."
This part is up to you, but do you think “preference” should be plural?
Mahidol University’s Department of Microbiology belongs to Siriraj Hospital. I learned techniques through working at this department. learning = working at this department. I am sorry for unclear description.
covering letter:
I want to email to different client for their submitting documents but that must attach covering letter of the same.
anybody help me, how i write the letter to client for sending documents along with covering…in next time.
