could you review my personal statement ! thanks It is for ISEP exchange programme

I’m chinese and i have been study 4 years in french with french language. this year i want to go to the US for one years’ exchange. i have written a personal statement. Could you please review it and give me somme advice? thanks in advance! This isep grogram request us to write a personal statement by answering some specific questions: ISEP is unique because it offers the opportunity for full immersion in the host culture. However, it is your responsibility to make the most of the experience . Introduce yourself and explain your goals for studying abroad and for integrating into the host culture? What specific situation from your past (coursework, job experience , travel, intercultural experience) have helped you prepare to accomplish these goals?

Personal statement

My experiences over the last four years changing in every way. I have been educated in two establishments at the same time: the university and the music school. in vacations, I make a tour in France from south to north by taking the ‘route du soleil’ and I do my effort to know better this country and to learn faster the new language by taking the lesson of French cuisine and oenology, visiting the perfume factory, tasting a big variety of chess, booking the monthly magazine. My life has been totally changed from that when I was in China: I became more active and self-independent to face bravely the difficulties and make the decisions. Taking advantage of my Schengen visa, I have also learned how to interact with a different culture by travelling around the European countries: the Spain, the German, the Suisse, the Vienna, the people republic of Czech, the Italy…in order to sing the opera, I study Italian an German. The full immersion provides us an opportunity to discover our potential capacity. It is the most efficient way to learn, proved by me own experience.
I have also developed a strong interest in economics. I am currently studying AES (economic and administrative administration). Studying AES provide no only the economic and financial courses, but also integrate the necessary professional skill into economic study, such as languages and the computing. I am exceedingly interested in studying economics and achieving broader knowledge associated with ma management; marketing and decisions that businesses have to take in various situation and doing some relative reading, such as Toyota production system, the corporation Alticor (Amway) and management information system etc. it help me gain experience in this domain and thought me much about teambuilding, responsibility, efficiency, employment, teamwork, leadership, relationships and attitude in affairs.
Repacking my travelling bag and restarting a new experience in USA is a prudent decision and with my long time consideration. Because of my interest for economics, I plan to continue my master of ‘international economics’ at my home institution: university of Nice Sophia Antipolis. In this domain, the professors encourage us to study in different cultures and collect various information to describe ‘what the international economy is?’ and understand ‘how the diverse thoughts influence the economic?’ One years of full immersion in host country will not only help us to develop another vision in economic study, but also aid us justify if what we have learned, in the last 3 years, is widely used in world.
The United States is my first choice for another departure in my life for three reasons. First of all, the United States has one of the world’s finest university systems with outstanding programs in numerous filed. Universities in the US pride themselves on being at the forefront of technology, research and techniques, and in making the best possible equipment and resources available to students. Secondly, in the economic domain, the US is one of the most passionate places in world where numerous economic events took place. It provide a bid quantity of study resources, in this respect, economic students have a preference. The last reason is that my father will be in Delaware with professional purpose next year. I am eager to join him in United States in this occasion. Because of his busy business, there are more than tow years, we can only kept contact through Internet and phone, I really miss him.
Outside of university, I have a great passion for the arts. Though this 4 years in France, I enrolled also my music study at ‘Conservatoire rayonnement et départemental de Cannes’ (music school) as a semi- professional. My major are the opera and the piano with electives such as the composition, the dramatic art , the chamber music etc. I have never stop to practice those two major activities since I was 6. Notably in France, the country where the clavecin (old piano) was invented, I was fascinated by the beauty of the music. Obviously, the schedule of two establishments causes always troubles to my time organization, but I insist to never give up the music. Currently, I am preparing for a master-class and a concert showing my composition! A Quattro string will realize my own music, I think il will be magic to heard it!
To gain practical experience in the workplace, in summer vacation 2010, I made an internship of two months in china development bank in Wuhan. I am charge in sending the letter to inform the new function of the e-count to the clients, the reception and the note taking in the meeting. this valuable experience taught me much about teamwork, responsibility and times management in the workplace.
While the last four years have been an intense learning experience, I know I still have much to learn about life and believe that I can do this with ISEP grogram. I am energized by the prospect of facing new challenges at university in United States, including studying and living independently. I have the will and ability to succeed and strive for excellence in everything I do.

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture from a life sciences class (4)

This really needs proofreading, the grammar isnt good and nor is the sentence structure. Some of the words used arent right for the context in which they are placed, and I think it needs a throrough read over. I would recommend … diting.php