Could you please rate my integrated writing task?

Reading:

Critics say that current voting systems used in the United States are inefficient and often lead to the inaccurate counting of votes. Miscounts can be especially damaging if an election is closely contested. Those critics would like the traditional systems to be replaced with far more efficient and trustworthy computerized voting systems.
In traditional voting, one major source of inaccuracy is that people accidentally vote for the wrong candidate. Voters usually have to find the name of their candidate on a large sheet of paper containing many names—the ballot—and make a small mark next to that name. People with poor eyesight can easily mark the wrong name. The computerized voting machines have an easy-to-use touch-screen technology: to cast a vote, a voter needs only to touch the candidate’s name on the screen to record a vote for that candidate; voters can even have the computer magnify the name for easier viewing.
Another major problem with old voting systems is that they rely heavily on people to count the votes. Officials must often count up the votes one by one, going through every ballot and recording the vote. Since they have to deal with thousands of ballots, it is almost inevitable that they will make mistakes. If an error is detected, a long and expensive recount has to take place. In contrast, computerized systems remove the possibility of human error, since all the vote counting is done quickly and automatically by the computers.
Finally some people say it is too risky to implement complicated voting technology nationwide. But without giving it a thought, governments and individuals alike trust other complex computer technology every day to be perfectly accurate in banking transactions as well as in the communication of highly sensitive information.

Lecture:

While traditional voting systems have some problems, it’s doubtful that computerized voting will make the situation any better. Computerized voting may seem easy for people who are used to computers. But what about people who aren’t? People who can’t afford computers, people who don’t use them on a regular basis—these people will have trouble using computerized voting machines. These voters can easily cast the wrong vote or be discouraged from voting altogether because of fear of technology. Furthermore, it’s true that humans make mistakes when they count up ballots by hand. But are we sure that computers will do a better job? After all, computers are programmed by humans, so “human error” can show up in mistakes in their programs. And the errors caused by these defective programs may be far more serious. The worst a human official can do is miss a few ballots. But an error in a computer program can result in thousands of votes being miscounted or even permanently removed from the record. And in many voting systems, there is no physical record of the votes, so a computer recount in the case of a suspected error is impossible! As for our trust of computer technology for banking and communications, remember one thing: these systems are used daily and they are used heavily. They didn’t work flawlessly when they were first introduced. They had to be improved on and improved on until they got as reliable as they are today. But voting happens only once every two years nationally in the United States and not much more than twice a year in many local areas. This is hardly sufficient for us to develop confidence that computerized voting can be fully trusted.

My integrated writing:
The reading and the lecture are both about whether or not the traditional voting system should be substituted by a computerized one. The author of the reading feels that technology would make this process more efficient. The lecturer challenges the claims made by the author. He is of the opinion that it would only worsen it.
To begin with, the author argues that people often mark wrong names by accident. The article mentions that computers would enable voters not only to vote by simply touching the candidate’s name on the screen but also to adjust the size of the text to their needs. This specific argument is challenged by the lecturer. He claims that many people who are not familiar with the use of computers would make even more mistakes or they would be discouraged from voting altogether out of fear of having to use a computer.
Secondly, the writer suggests that since the counting is performed by humans the number of potential mistakes rises. In the article it is said that errors could be avoided if the counting was done by an automated software. The lecturer, however, rebuts this by mentioning that as computers are programmed by humans, mistakes can only become graver. He elaborates on this by bringing up the point that in case of a suspected error, no recount can take place as in most cases there is no physical record kept.
Finally, the author posits that both officials and individuals rely on computers to perform banking and communication tasks, therefore it is wrong to consider technology used in voting unsafe. In contrast, the lecturer’s position is that unlike voting, banking and communication processes take place everyday. Moreover, he notes that these softwares underwent gradual improvements throughout the years to become as reliable as they are now, however in the case of voting there is not enough time for technology to gain the trust of the voters.

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Hi Tina, welcome to our forum. I think your writing skills are very solid and your English is at least B2 with a tendency to even C1. As for the topic, as far as I understand you are from the country where the entire concept of ‘democracy’, which voting is a crucial part of, originated. After all, the word ‘democracy’ is Greek rather than English so I would be interested in your opinion on what has been happening the USA and Europe for the past few months. Also, why exactly are you preparing for the TOEFL test?

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Hey there! And thanks! Actually I’m Belarusian, I just happened to live in Greece. I want to get admitted to a university in Warsaw.

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That’s interesting. The university in Warsaw requires you to to take the TOEFL test and submit your TOEFL results?

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That’s interesting. The university in Warsaw requires you to to take the TOEFL test and submit your TOEFL results?

Yes, as the program I’ve chosen is English-taught

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I’m convinced your English language skills are more than sufficient for you to get the most out of this program.

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Thanks soooo much!!!

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You are welcome. By the way, could you please share your secret as to how you have been able to reach this command of the English language? Have you lived in an English speaking country?

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I don’t think she would! :innocent:

As you say, Torsten, @tinaskrd is very good at English except, perhaps, for certain slight avoidable errors here and there. I hope she will appreciate the changes highlighted below.

[Secondly, the writer observes that since the counting is performed by humans*,** the number of potential mistakes rises. In the article it is said that errors could be avoided if the counting was done by automated software. The lecturer, however, rebuts this by stating that as computers are programmed by humans, mistakes can only become graver. *

Finally, the author posits that both officials and individuals rely on computers to perform banking and communication tasks, therefore it is wrong to consider technology used in voting to be unsafe. In contrast, the lecturer’s position is that unlike voting, banking and communication processes take place every day. Moreover, he notes that these types of software underwent gradual improvements throughout the years to become as reliable as they are now. However, in the case of voting, there is not enough time for technology to gain the trust of the voters.]

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No, I’ve lived most of my life in Greece. Actually, my mother kinda forced me to start studying English from an early age.

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Thank you so much for your corrections!!

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This is actually very interesting!

What exactly is very interesting and why?