Could you please evaluate my integrated essay?

Reading: Toward the end of his life, the Chevalier de Seingalt (1725−1798) wrote a long memoir recounting his life and adventures. The Chevalier was a somewhat controversial figure, but since he met many famous people, including kings and writers, his memoir has become a valuable historical source about European society in the eighteenth century. However, some critics have raised doubts about the accuracy of the memoir. They claim that the Chevalier distorted or invented many events in the memoir to make his life seem more exciting and glamorous than it really was.

For example, in his memoir the Chevalier claims that while living in Switzerland, he was very wealthy, and it is known that he spent a great deal of money there on parties and gambling. However, evidence has recently surfaced that the Chevalier borrowed considerable sums of money from a Swiss merchant. Critics thus argue that if the Chevalier had really been very rich, he would not have needed to borrow money.

Critics are also skeptical about the accuracy of the conversations that the Chevalier records in the memoir between himself and the famous writer Voltaire. No one doubts that the Chevalier and Voltaire met and conversed. However, critics complain that the memoir cannot possibly capture these conversations accurately, because it was written many years after the conversations occurred. Critics point out that it is impossible to remember exact phrases from extended conversations held many years earlier.

Critics have also questioned the memoir’s account of the Chevalier’s escape from a notorious prison in Venice, Italy. He claims to have escaped the Venetian prison by using a piece of metal to make a hole in the ceiling and climbing through the roof. Critics claim that while such a daring escape makes for enjoyable reading, it is more likely that the Chevalier’s jailers were bribed to free him. They point out that the Chevalier had a number of politically well-connected friends in Venice who could have offered a bribe.

Lecture: Stream TOEFL Integrated Writing Sample by Bestmytest | Listen online for free on SoundCloud

My integrated writing task:
The reading and the lecture are both about the memoir Chevalier de Seingalt. The author of the reading states that various critics doubt the accuracy of his memoir. The lecturer contradicts the claims made by the author. He is of the opinion that the memoir can be considered a reliable historical source.

To begin with, the author argues that while Chevalier was in Switzerland he used to waste outrageous amounts of money on gambling and partying. The article mentions that he borrowed money from a Swiss merchant, therefore, by no means can he be considered to have been rich. This specific argument is challenged by the lecturer. She claims that Chavalier had many tangible assets that he could not convert to money instantly. Additionally, she says that he borrowed money from the merchant while he was waiting for his money to be given to him from the people he had sold his property to.

Secondly, the writer suggests that the accuracy of his conversations with the writer Voltaire is also doubted by the critics. In the article it is said that this is due to the fact that he wrote his memoir many years after the actual conversations had taken place, so it was impossible for him to fully remember them. The lecturer, however, rebuts this by mentioning that he used to write down all of his discussions with the writer as soon as he returned home. He elaborated on this by bringing up the point that witnesses claim that he often consulted his notes and journals before writing.

Finally, the author posits that even though Chavalier himself claims to have escaped through the ceiling, critics maintain that since he had numerous connections, he simply bribed the jailers to free him. In contrast, the lecturer’s position is that this could not have happened as there were other prisoners with much more powerful friends than the ones of Chevalier, and yet they were not able to be released. She notes that there are also some government documents that state that after the Chevalier’s escape, the ceiling in his jailroom had to be repaired, therefore it is almost certainly that he fled the way he describes it in his memoir.

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tinaskrd

Would you just go through the original reading once again and see whether you can do more justice to it by revising the integrated essay? A quick glance at your essay vis a vis the original makes me feel that there is more room for a better integration. Thank you.

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