Hi, I’d like to ask you about your opinions on my essay for TOEFL.
Especially, for the progression or coherence of my writing.
TOEFL is too difficult ‘ㅅ’
TOPIC:
Many people value long-lasting relationships. What is the most important way to determine whether friendships between person and another person will last a long-time?
- They always help each other in a crisis and when something goes wrong.
- They have similar interests and similar views in crucial topics.
- They trust each other completely.
ESSAY:
Throughout lives, we meet different kinds of people. Some of them become our long-lasting friends while others disappear in our memory. This leads me to think about what is the most important consideration to keep long healthy friendships. There are a great number of ways to make long-time relationships, such as assisting friends in trouble, fully trusting each other, or sharing similar interests and thoughts in important matters. Among many, I think the most important consideration to keep long-lasting friendships is having analogous interests and views on vital topics, and the reasons are as follows.
To start with, friends can enjoy their time when they have identical interests. When friends find common enjoyment, they can easily spend much time together while having fun. By sharing fun moments, they feel more comfortable with each other, which can ensure a happy long-term relationship without any burden. However, being helpful when a friend is in trouble can last only a while because one side can be readily exhausted by just assisting the other one again and again that can lead to the loss of friendships. In my case, I have a friend whom I exercise with. Whenever I want to enjoy an outdoor workout, I ask her to meet at Han River Park. Since she likes to exercise outside as well, we walk around or ride a bicycle along the river, or play badminton at the park. We have been enjoying this outdoor exercise for over 10 years until now, and this makes us feel closer to each other.
On top of that, friends can make stronger bonds when they have similar views. Admittedly, perfectly trustworthy friends can build solid relationships in terms of their reliability that makes them stay supported by each other in any situation. Nevertheless, the blind trust can be poison for some cases, especially when they do bad things. It is hard to say that they can trust each other forever in this situation. Unlike this, getting to know each other by sharing similar ideas is the process of building healthy trust based on their perspectives. It does not take a genius to know that friends can feel a sense of kinship with each other when they figure out that they have analogous thoughts on important matters. This accumulated comparability encourages them to have deeper communication more easily, which plays a key role in building a closer friendship. For instance, a friend of mine and I used to exchange our views on social or political issues. Surprisingly, we had some sort of similarities on almost every topic, and this allowed us to exchange ideas without any reluctance. Since I can easily relate to her in most cases, there is no trouble for me to bring about any issues to her. Until now, the friend who has analogous perspectives with me is still the best friend of mine.
To sum up, I think the most crucial factor to maintain longer relationships is having similar interests and similar views on vital issues. This is because friends can have fun by relishing the same interests and can build stronger relationships while having a deeper conversation more easily.