Could you correct my 5. essay, thanks

[Deangelus]

Question:You have enough money to purchase either a house or a business. Which would you choose to buy? Give specific reasons to explain your choise.

If I had enough money and had to choose between buying a house or build up a business than i would choose the business. The main reason that i wouldn’t get a house is the market in Switzerland. The prices for appartment or houses are climbing every year between 10 and 15 Percent. There are already several warnings from the govermant that the market is overheating and could collaps soon. So if you would buy a house now than you could lose a lot of money. But there are also some other reasons why i would choose to get a business.

First of all, you are your own boss. Nobody tells you what to do and what not. Every decision is your own. You are responsible for yourself. The company can be successfull or it can end in a desaster. Everything would be up to you.

In addition, it is a good investment to start your own business. If this runs well, you will get back the money in a short time. As an example, my brother bought a bar in a small village and just after three month he already got all his money back and after other three month he bought a new car that costs over 100000.- $!

Finally, a own good running company is something that you can be really proud of it. It is a good feeling if you are successfull and I believe with a good idea it is not that difficult. For instance, there is an online shop that you can order a pair of black socks. The company sends you than always in a defined period a new pair till you cancel the contract. It sounds simple and crazy but the company succeeds.

In short, you are your own boss, earn good money, and can be proud and successfull when you build up your own company.

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture from a physical science class

[Luschen]

Hi, I think this is a very good essay. You have quite a few spelling errors though and a couple of incorrect words and grammar mistakes, but overall, not too bad. I would rate this a 4 out of 5.

@Deangelus

Question:You have enough money to purchase either a house or a business. Which would you choose to buy? Give specific reasons to explain your choise.

If I had enough money and had to choose between buying a house or build up a business than i would choose the business. The main reason that i wouldn’t get a house is the market in Switzerland. The prices for appartment{sp} or houses are climbing every year between 10 and 15 Percent{no caps}. There are already several warnings from the govermant{sp} that the market is overheating and could collaps{sp} soon. So if you would buy a house now than you could lose a lot of money. But there are also some other reasons why i would choose to get a business. {this introduction is a little unorthodox - normally you would end with the thesis statement containing your viewpoint instead of leading off with it, but I think in this case it works OK, since you are giving counter-arguments to the opposite viewpoint.

First of all, [when you own your own business, ]you are your own boss. Nobody tells you what to do and what not [to do].{using “what not” is a little confusing because “whatnot” means “miscellaneous” or is used like “etc.” in English} Every decision is your own. You are responsible for yourself. The company can be successfull{sp} or it can end in a desaster.{sp} Everything would be up to you.

In addition, it is a good investment to start your own business. If this runs well, you will get back the money in a short time. As an example, my brother bought a bar in a small village and just after three month[s ] he already got all his money back and after other three month[s ] he bought a new car that costs over 100000.- $! {dollar sign goes before the number}

Finally, a own[ing] [a] good running[successful] company is something that you can be really proud of it. It is a good feeling if you are successfull{sp} and I believe with a good idea it is not that difficult. For instance, there is an online shop that [where] you can order a pair of black socks. The company [then] sends you than always in a defined period a new pair till you cancel the contract. It sounds simple and crazy but the company succeeds.

In short, you are your own boss, earn good money, and can be proud and successfull{sp} when you build up your own company.

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture from a physical science class

[Deangelus]

Thanks for your feeback:)