Could someone rate this TOEFL Writting essay for me? Thanks! The topic is: A teacher’s ability to relate well with students is more important than excellent knowledge of the subject being taught

It is critically important that teachers have a good relationship with students. Personally,I believe that it’s easier for student to learn from teachers when they relate with each other. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
To begin with a teacher’s primary goal is to teach students the best way they can about the subject and how to show respect to one another. They teach us how to treat everyone equally, In order to do that they have to relate with the students. My personal experience is a compelling illustration of this. When I was in high school I had a history teacher that was always worried about each student individually, she was always showing love and teaching in a different way. Consequently It was easy to learn with her, because she wasn’t just teaching the subject but also her accelerant knowledge on life.
Furthermore,even if the teacher has excellent knowledge of the subject that he is teaching it will go on vain if the student cannot understand. For instance, I remember my physics classes when I was in tenth grade,the teacher had a strong knowledge and used to solve every problem. But I never understood the subject and she did not seem to care or make an effort to help me with my questions. Finally, at the end of the year I graduated this class with very less credits.
In conclusion, I strongly feel that teacher’s need to make an effort to relate and build relationships with their students. This is because they can cause students to comprehend more the subject, and teach important lifelong skills.


Hi Julia, thanks a lot for sharing your essay with us. What kind of feedback do you expect and why? From your profile I can see that you love watching movies and singing. So I take it you are planning to become a professional musician?

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Hi, I was hoping to know if there’s any grammar mistakes or something that I need to improve!!
Yes, I do love music but it’s just a hobby. I’m actually planning to major in psychology!!
I would be really grateful if you could help me with my writing essay!! Thank you

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Well, I understand everything you write so instead of just me trying to point out your ‘grammar mistakes’ it might be much more useful if you analyze your reading habits because if you want to improve your writing skills you need to do more reading. If you are interested in psychology you can start reading articles about various aspects relating to psychology if you haven’t done so yet.

Also, you might want to try to decouple the TOEFL from your subjects of interest. In other words, don’t view the TOEFL as your goal. If your goal is to study psychology you should spend more time on reading about psychology instead of wasting your time on trying to please the TOEFL examiners.

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