Choose living in traditional house or modern house

It’s my new style writing. CAn you grade it for me please, mr kitos? and also my happy to receive any comment from any reader in this forum, especially, Mohamed and leenda- a king and queen of this forum :))

The world nowadays is the combination of tradition and modern. Some people prefer to live in an old house that help them be reminiscent of an unforgettable past enclosed a childhood memory. But in my opinion, as a new generation of youth, I prefer to live modern house.

Firstly, modern house is enormous that provides individual’s freedom. My house is a clear-cut example. It has three floor so each of member family has a distinct room. In that way, I can decorate my room base on my predilection that don’t fear to be
criticized by my family’s style. So it offers to me various option to choose location of my furniture such as my computer, my bed,… Moreover, Some picture of football stars and poster of film exaggerate the beauty of my room. My own world, don’t you think? Now I can release myself from rigid and boring principles to show my personality. In contrary, traditional house is so stuffy that contains 4-5 people. Dirty, noise, disturbance will decrease my quality of living. Obviously, living in modern house is very convenient.

Secondly, living in modern house benefit my health. In free-time, I can stand in house terrace and observe the minification of my eyes to the whole city. Ha Noi- a capital of Viet Nam is so lovely. A peaceful including a little bit of bustling creates the
majestical beauty of my city. Each time I have a sadness, I observe again this beauty that vibrate my emotion. So it helps me to remove stress that is formed because of the social responsibility and the strong pressure of education. Gradually, a terrace of my modern house is also my own world.

As I discuss above, I can strongly believe it’s better for me to live in modern house

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a dorm mother and a resident

It’s my new style writing. CAn you grade it for me please, mr kitos? and also my happy to receive any comment from any reader in this forum, especially, Mohamed and leenda- a king and queen of this forum :))

The world nowadays is the combination of traditional and modern. Some people prefer to live in an old house that help them reminisce an unforgettable past enclosed in a childhood memory, but in my opinion, as a new generation of youth, I prefer to live in a modern house.

Firstly, a modern house is enormous in size and that provides individual’s freedom. My house is a clear-cut example. It has three floor so each member of the family has their own, distinct room. In that way, I can decorate my room based on my predilection twhere I am not afraid to be criticized by my family’s style. So it offers to me various options to choose the location of my furniture such as my computer, my bed,… Moreover, some pictures of football stars and posters of films exaggerate the beauty of my room. My own world, don’t you think? Now I can release myself from rigid and boring principles to show my personality. In contrary, a traditional house that contains 4-5 people is so stuffy. Dirt, noise, disturbance will decrease my quality of living. Obviously, living in a modern house is very convenient.

Secondly, living in a modern house benefits my health. In free-time, I can stand on the house terrace and observe the whole city. Ha Noi- a capital of Viet Nam is so lovely. A peaceful place including a little bit of bustling that creates the majestical beauty of my city. Each time I have a sadness, I observe again this beauty that vibrates my emotions. So it helps me to remove stress that is formed because of the social responsibility and the strong pressure of education. Gradually, a terrace of my modern house becomes my own world.

As I discuss above, I can strongly believe it’s better for me to live in this modern house

Quite imaginative Kaka. Well done.

Kitos. 8.5/10

Thank you my teacher very much. You have let me know how to score well in toefl essay

Hi I m new to this site.I just cannot wait to appreciate you for your time and efforts in correcting essays.I must say i am inspired by everybody’s work and have written this essay
which carries a tilte “Computer games harmful or harmless for the children”. I also aim at toefl , so please let me know the flaws i am looking forward for your help.
Thanks.

Technology is gift for todays generation which is very much accepted happily and consiously .I say this , because this gift comes with hidden dangers within.These dangers are not only affecting adults and the learned but the children and future generations.

Computers games are more entertaining and educational.But not to cover the fact that todays children are much affected by theses recreation and games.Computers games are harmful for children for several reasons , below are the suitable examples and the explanations of my views.

The computer games can be proven dangerous for the development of moral values in children.These effect the nature of child making him or her introvert because they will no longer play with their peers.They start feeling shy and always the spirit of ‘going back to the room’ awakens their thoughts of leaving the group and get back to games in ‘thier’ room .For example if a kid is being playing these games in vacation for longer hours , they will no longer be intrested in the play area or the physical games.Even children may avoid going out for dinners with their families , unless they parents promise them to spare atleast one game before bedtime.Thus kids may become shy and introverts.

The other reason bieng the cost involved in installing such a setup for kids to play, i think elders must question themselves before they reach out to thier own pockets, that is it worth buyingit for their children,who are unsure of discretion between the bad , good , better and best of course.Sometimes parents may feel to cuddle they loved ones with a gift which they themselves could not reach out until this day, so they buy the computer games.But they also must be affirmative on telling their kids how to use effectively.

One more reason which every child ignores is ‘cultivation of time’.Time is often measured by the ages , childhood , teenage and oldage.but is disgraceful that only chilhood is unaware of the fact that time never waits till we are done with computer games.So by the time the realise this , they will be devoured by the game itself.
Not only they spill out energy aimlessly play graphics stuff , sitting in one single place, but also their mental growth is stagnant.
As an example , children learn new tasks and things when they play out with their freinds , family.

my consensus is that , Computer games kills time, energy and money in huge amounts which are priceless.Both parents and children should give this a special thought.

WELCOME Jyothianand into our little family. Please make sure that you post your work as a “New Post.”
You will find the button on the top left hane side of this page, EVERY essay must be posted as a seperate one.

Thanks, Kitos.