The next few days passed in a haze for me. I was almost back to my routine of no sleeping, eating, or believing. Believing that nothing could repair my wretched life and future.
Yesterday had been Becky’s funeral, and I couldn’t even remember being there. Everything seemed so unreal. It was only a short time ago that everything was going so well, and now this … abject misery and heart-break.
Sure, I was sound in body once again, but both my spirit and confidence were lower than they had been in the Korean labour camp. This was all my fault. If I hadn’t met Becky then none of this might ever have happened.
I shook myself out of my lethargy and decided to go into town. Walking along the route that I had walked with Becky so many times in the recent past brought it all back to me.
Staggering into the park I collapsed onto a bench. In the distance I could hear the shrieks of small children playing on the swings, and the sound of the older boys playing football to the encouraging shouts of their girl-friends.
Life was going on whether I liked it or not. Nothing had changed, except Becky was gone and she wasn’t coming back … ever.
Just then two young girls walked by and smiled at me. I was forced into returning a smile, and in doing so I realised that that was exactly what Becky would have wanted me to do.
" Stop moping Tom, get to work and cheer up," that’s exactly what she would have said to me. Saying and doing where two different things, but somehow I struggled to my feet and headed toward the store. My intention was to tell the manager that I would be returning to work the next week.
The managers face lit up when he saw me entering the store, and he greeted me with a handshake.
" How are you feeling Tom?" he asked.
" Oh, I’m OK," I lied. " I’ve just popped in to tell you that I’ll be returning to work next Monday."
" That’s great news Tom, but are you sure you are ready to face work so soon?"
“Yes, I’ll be glad to get back into the routine again. It’s doing me no good at all just sitting in my bedroom all day.”
" OK Tom, he said, as long as you’re sure. We’ll be more than happy to see you back."
I was about to leave the store when he suddenly called me back.
" Hey Tom, I almost forgot to tell you about your friend Maurice."
He began telling me about how well his plan had worked out. Apparently when Maurice came to the store on the last Friday the manager had arranged for a large carton of computer lap-tops to be laying conveniently by the loading bay door. When no-one was looking Maurice had quickly salted them into cab of his wagon. What Maurice didn’t know was that his actions were being recorded on a concealed CCTV camera. As he was about to drive away the manager and two of the warehousemen had stopped him. Of course he pleaded all innocence, but when the manager showed him the CCTV playback in his office, he hadn’t a leg to stand on.
The manager told him that he wouldn’t report this matter to the police, but that he would be reporting it to Maurice’s boss. The next day the manager was told that Maurice had been sacked, and as his firm were some three hundred miles away, the chances of my ever seeing him again where next to none. At last, something good had happened, and my spirits were ever so slightly lifted.
Now all I had to do was to get through the next day.
That was my plan. Live each and every day as though it was all beginning once more.