Can you rate my essay please?

Do you agree or disagree with the statement, government should spend more money on recreational facilities(like a gym or a swimming pool) rather than on museums or music performance centers

Nowdays, diseases are more dangerous in humans. Obesity is a terrible disease that has change the life of several people. The food contains more contamination than before that affects the healthy increasing calories that harm the heart. The aliments are prepared of an artificial manner with a lot of substances that in many cases are mortal for people. Personally, I think that the government should attack these diseases building recreational facilities like gym, swimming pools and spaces where people might go to do exercise, join with their family and discover new sport talents.

To begin with, I think that the government should spend a lot of money in recreation facilities inviting to people to do exercise and avoiding obesity. The exercise maintains a healthy body. Doing exercise everyday helps to people to avoid obesity that can harm the heart. Also it would save a lot of lives. For example, my father is fat and the government opens a new free gym by my home. Now, my father can go to do exercise helping him to decrease in wealth. He feels better and comfortable. That’s why, the necessity to open several spaces where they can do it.

In addition, I think that the government should build a lot of recreation facilities to increment the join of families. From my own experience, I usually go to the swimming pool with my parents and my sister. We spend a great moment each weekend. We can enjoy together. It’s nice to share a good moment with my family. My father works every day, so he has time for his family only weekends. Therefore, my family enjoy a fabulous time at swimming pool each weekend.

Finally, I think that if the government can discover new talents in recreational places as a soccer fields, tennis courts, football field, and etcetera. In fact, my friend played soccer everyday in a new soccer field that the government had built. Someday, professional people went to see some matches, so they invited to my friend to join with them. Today, mi friend enjoy of a pleasure live thanked to the government that built several soccer field matches.

These factors have led me to believe that building recreation facilities the government helps to a lot of people to do exercise, to join families and to discover new sport talents.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a professor and a departmental secretary