can you guys fix my motivation letter for joining manchester university

it is for international management

Dear sirs,

first of all thank you for existing and for giving me the opportunity to show you my motivation to join your university.
I found your program of study after so many researches and it just simply matches all my ambitions.
My name is luca zhou and I was born in italy 18 years ago.
My parents are chinese so as a consequence I grew up in a bilingual enviroment in which I had the oppurtunity to learn two beatiful and important languages , and learnt two of the most ancient cultures of the history.
My parents come from a poor background, they teach me the meaning of the money, and how hard is to gain it . Growing up I was always more mature than my same ages.
Nowadays we have a shop,we sell textile goods, we are better economically and I manageour busienss issues like client communication and selling with my parents. I got to know how hard is to sell a product, but if you follow some rules like being kind, predict the tendency before the competitors, and especially have good emphaty skills…you will succeed.
These skills actually cannot be found in the books, but just through direct experience, but these are not enough. In fact I still have to study hard and get the the right knowledge to succedd, time is changing and without the knowledge , it will become almost impossible managing a business in the future. We will not have another li ka shing or Ingvar Kamprad, two of the most successful people still alive without a formal education.
My goal is to get the knowledge that will make me able to manage international businesses and solve any inconvenience in a short and effective way at the same time. I like to handle situations and solve any problem in the easiest way since life should be easy. Those who say life is though, most of the times is because they didnt set up well their mental structures.
I am enrolled in a high school where I study economics , math, foreign languages, art, geography so it is a varied programme with several fields comprised. My current studies will give me a solide base for the study of the university programme. Besides school subjects I also study by myself extra stuff so my mind will be more exposed. One thing that I do almost everyday is reading bbc news, the economist, and the business week. I find them essential if I want to keep me updated and become a good manager. Everyday I study different things , this exposure will make my mind more creative.
Moreover, this summer I went to help an uncle out since he just opened a new wholesale shop. there were 2 guys who just came and I had to teach them how to put the goods on the shelves and how to approach clients and how to make invoices properly. I had to use my leadership and managerial skills. Of course I was in charge of comunicating with foreign clients as face to face as by email since I was the only one capable of speaking english.
Clients were all from different countries with differenty way of thinking so I had to approach clients with different ways. I am a person who travel a lot and I lived in usa as a full academic exchange student. It was a turning point of my life and seriously made me more independent and mature.
My host father, who is hebrew, teached me a lot of life skills that I am still keeping in my mind and heart. He told me the reason why hebrew people are so smart, and is just because they have great values, they follow the values Like the value of organization and making decisions and especially making questions…since we will have an asnwer anyway.His son went to harvard business school following these principles.my host father changed my life and I am really grateful to him. Your program will give me the oppurtunity to do a full accademic program abroad and this will widen even more my horizons, I cant wait to do it. As you see I really have international inclinations and you university is so full of foreign people, just amazing. In fact I like to have international friends and exchange ideas with them. I will grow up with other students but even the teachers will be besides us in this process since nobody ends to grow up culturally…I know that an excellent manager has competences in several fields so I will work hard to develop other fields as much as possbile too for example physology and law that are huge welcome cards in the world of work and life in general. The fact that I will study these sujects in your program makes me more excited.
I am really openminded too and I am a kind of 365 degree person.
I play fencing which is like management, because in this sport I have to think a lot, i have to make strategies, a strategy of defense and later a strategy of offense, just like managing company to conduct it to the success.
I really like keeping me busy all the time, I take guitar lessons, singing lessons, I dance, I read a lot from newspapers to magazines, and once a week I do volunteering helping the immigrant children out about homework and education, this is one of the things that fullfil my heart since the kids are so lovely and I am responsible for their growing process partly. I am also interesed in cooking and my trump card is seafood spaghetti.
I try to keep myself fit so I work out and do pilates, which I consider one of the best discoveries ever, because a good physical state means better results. I like the theatre and can t wait to visit one of manchester s theatre, and why not attend a shakespeare opera. Having so many passions makes my mind more flexible so good ideas can come out of my mind more easily . A great manager should be focused on many fields or at least interesed on the fields.
I truly have a great enthusiasm to join the program and I will be forever grateful to you if I will have the chance to contribute to your fame and I am surely positive that I made a great decision tryng to join your university.

nobody is willing to help me out? torsten can u do it?

You first need to remove all your typos.[YSaerTTEW443543]

TOEIC listening, question-response: Are we the home team or the visitors?[YSaerTTEW443543]

i removed the typos…thank u for helping
Dear sirs,

first of all thank you for existing and for giving me the opportunity to show you my motivation to join your university.
I found your program of study after so many researches and it just simply matches all my ambitions.
My name is luca zhou and I was born in italy 18 years ago.
My parents are chinese so as a consequence I grew up in a bilingual enviroment in which I had the oppurtunity to learn two beautiful and important languages , and learned two of the most ancient cultures of the history.
My parents come from a poor background, they teach me the meaning of the money, and how hard is to gain it . Growing up I was always more mature than my same ages.
Nowadays we have a shop,we sell textile goods, we are better economically and I manage business issues like client communication and selling with my parents. I got to know how hard is to sell a product, but if you follow some rules like being kind, predict the tendency before the competitors, and especially have good emphaty skills…you will succeed.
These skills actually cannot be found in the books, but just through direct experience, but these are not enough ,so I still have to study hard and get the the right knowledge to succedd, time is changing and without the knowledge , it will become almost impossible managing a business in the future. We will not have another li ka shing or Ingvar Kamprad, two of the most successful people still alive without a formal education.
My goal is to get the knowledge that will make me able to manage international businesses and solve any inconvenience in a short and effective way at the same time. I like to handle situations and solve any problem in the easiest way since life should be easy. Those who say life is though, most of the times is because they didnt set up well their mental structures.
I am enrolled in a high school where I study economics , math, foreign languages, art, geography so it is a varied programme with several fields comprised. My current studies will give me a solide base for the study of the university programme. Besides school subjects I also study by myself extra stuff so my mind will be more exposed. One thing that I do almost everyday is reading bbc news, the economist, and the business week. I find them essential if I want to keep me updated and become a good manager. Everyday I study different things , this exposure will make my mind more creative.
Moreover, this summer I went to help an uncle out since he just opened a new wholesale shop. there were 2 guys who just came and I had to teach them how to put the goods on the shelves and how to approach clients and how to make invoices properly. I had to use my leadership and managerial skills. Of course I was in charge of comunicating with foreign clients as face to face as by email since I was the only one capable of speaking english.
Clients were all from different countries with differenty way of thinking so I had to approach them with different ways. I am a person who travels a lot and I lived in usa as a full academic exchange student. It was a turning point of my life and seriously made me more independent and mature.
My host father, who is hebrew, teached me a lot of life skills that I am still keeping in my mind and heart. He told me the reason why hebrew people are so smart, and is just because they have great values, they follow the values Like the value of organization and making decisions and especially making questions…since we will have an asnwer anyway.His son went to harvard business school following these principles.my host father changed my life and I am really grateful to him. Your program will give me the oppurtunity to do a full accademic program abroad and this will widen even more my horizons, I can’t wait to do it. As you see I really have international inclinations and you university is so full of foreign people, just amazing. In fact I like to have international friends and exchange ideas with them. I will grow up with other students but even the teachers will be besides us in this process since nobody ends to grow up culturally…I know that an excellent manager has competences in several fields so I will work hard to develop other fields as much as possbile too for example physology and law that are huge welcome cards in the world of work and life in general. The fact that I will study these subjects in your program makes me more excited.
I am really openminded too and I am a kind of 365 degree person.
I play fencing which is like management, because in this sport I have to think a lot, i have to make strategies of defense and offense, just like managing company to conduct it to the success.
I really like keeping me busy all the time, I take guitar lessons, singing lessons, I dance, I read a lot from newspapers to magazines, and once a week I do volunteering helping the immigrant children out about homework and education, this is one of the things that fullfils my heart since the kids are so lovely and I am responsible for their growing process partly. I am also interesed in cooking and my trump card is seafood spaghetti.
I try to keep myself fit so I work out and do pilates, which I consider one of the best discoveries ever, because a good physical state means better results. I like the theatre and can t wait to visit one of manchester’s theatre, and why not attend a shakespeare’s opera. Having so many passions makes my mind more flexible so good ideas can come out of my mind more easily . A great manager should improve on many fields or at least be interesed on them.
I truly have a great enthusiasm to join the program and I will be forever grateful to you if I will have the chance to contribute to your fame and I am surely positive that I made a great decision trying to join your university.