Can you grade my essay,please?Thank you!

TOPIC:Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?Use specific reasons and examples to support your response.Colleges or universities should offer students a better job preparation before they start working.

With the developing of education, more and more students graduate from the university, college graduated students become the main troops of finding jobs. More and more colleges starting to give a job preparation to their students before they go to work. Some people think it is no need for them to do that. But I do not think so.
Firstly, giving a service of a better job preparation bring many benefits to students. By doing this, students can improve their practices ability, and make them more mature. Let me take Spring University as an example. Last year Spring University’s employment rate is about 45%, lot of students feedback that they haven’t got full preparation before hunting a job. After that, the campus starting a plan of ‘job preparation program’, and this year the employment rate of this university is going up, reach about 60%, which is amazing! Meanwhile, the students became more thoughtful than before.
Secondly, having a preparation is also good for school. As we all know, if the employment rate of the university is going up, a lot of freshman will come and study in this university. Why do so many universities like Yale, Harvard, Cambridge famous around the world? One of the several important reasons is the employment rate are high.
Thirdly, preparing before finding a job have positive effect on our society. Students know how to get a better job and have a better job, that means, employment rate of our society will come up and our society will be stable. During 2008, economy crisis, many people lost their jobs, and crime rate was going up during that period. After the economy crisis, employment rate was going up, so crime rate was decreased. So the employment rate is such a meaningful thing for the stable of the society.
Fourthly, have something prepared before hunting a job is good for improving the benefits of the companies. As we know, if students don not prepare before finding the job, it will be so hard for them to get used to do this job, and the companies will pay a lot. But if the students have got prepared, they will get easy to do the jobs, and the companies will save a lot of time and money.
All in all, I really agree with that colleges or universities should offer students a better job preparation before they start working. Isn’t really a good idea?

TOEFL listening lectures: How did Queen Elizabeth acknowledge the English victory?