Can you give me your feedback on my text about international travel? It should be C1 level

Nowadays an increasing number of people decide to take a trip to get to know new places and new people. Even though travelling is considered to be vital in order to discover new cultures, sometimes it makes people prejudiced against a certain country. There could be several reasons for this mentality and giving viable solutions can help to resolve the issue.
Firstly, due to the various commitments that people may have, many more tourists decide to stay in a country for a limited period of time. As a result, they cannot get an idea of the place and base their opinion of the place only on what they have read in social media or on the internet. As a matter of fact, it is well known that you start to learn and appreciate the culture of a certain country if you spend at least 2 weeks there. Secondly, overgeneralizing is another triggering factor of the biases of international travellers. For instance, it may occur that during a trip one may meet an unfriendly or rude local person, but this does not mean that local people are really all like that. Furthermore, individuals should be able to be open minded in order to understand the mindset of the city dwellers of a certain country. By doing so, tourists can understand what prompted a local person to behave in a way that seems rude to tourists and they can try to see if they may unknowingly have showed disrespect for local culture. For example, a common mistake would be not to take off one’s shoes in some religious places or temples.
However, there are few solutions that can help travellers to be more receptive and indulgent instead of cold and biased. First of all, travellers should make a thorough research on the typical customs and traditions of that country prior to the trip. In addition, the government should encourage tourists to stay longer in his own country by promoting activities for tourists which would allow them to discover not only the beautiful monuments and landscapes that a country may offer, but also the mindset and the culture of the inhabitants of the place.
To conclude, by implementing the solutions above, it might probably reduce prejudice of the public. If tourists have a positive attitude towards a certain country, they are more likely to return to that country and by doing so, they boost its economy.

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Hi Mari, welcome to our forum. Can you please tell us a little more about you and your goals? For example, who do you think is going to read the text you have shared and why should anyone read it? How can your readers benefit from your writing?

Best regards,
Torsten

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Hello :slight_smile: I’m a language student. Right now I’m studying for the CAE Certificate. Writing essays is the perfect occasion for me to improve my vocabulary and my writing in English.

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Thanks for your response. So, who do you think is going to read your essay and why?

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I wrote it just to practice.

Well, if you really want to discuss international travel you should have mentioned the issues that matter such as the fact that mass tourism has been contributing to global warming which in turn has displaced millions of people. Industries such as the cruise ship mafia have been causing tremendous damage to our planet and should therefore be stopped. The essay have been trying to write can be composed by an AI so why would you compete with a computer?

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