Attending a live performance or watching the same event on TV?

[Bjeddi]

Hello. this is my first writing that I send to you. please evaluate it and say your opinion about it. thank you very much.

question: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Attending a live performance is more enjoyable than watching the same event on TV.

Some people like to attend live performances while others like to watch them on TV. From my experience, I feel that watching a performance on TV such as a concert or a sport game is more enjoyable than watching it live. The reasons are obvious. When I watch them on TV at home I can make any noise freely. in addition, I can sit on my favorite position. Most importantly, I do not want to waste my money on these things.

First and foremost, I usually make a lot of noise when I watch a sport match. This is somewhat involuntarily. It helps me reduce my stress. This may be annoying for people around me in the stadium. They may get angry with my noise. I remember last time I went to watch a football game, I made such a noise that everyone started to nag me. I was forced to leave the place after the first half. So, I prefer to watch sport games on TV at home.

Secondly, when you go to a theater or a concert you have to sit on your seat until it finishes. You are not allowed to leave your seat. This may be boring for me. Because I like to lie down when I am watching a film or listening to music. On the other hand, if I watch it at home I could sit in my favorite position. In this regard, watching a performance on TV is more enjoyable for me than watching it live.

Last but not least, I think going to a concert or a theater is wasting of time. You must spend two or three hours to watch a one hour performance. It is also waste of money. Is it reasonable that you pay 10$ for a concert while you can download or watch it on the Internet freely?

As I have illustrated, I disagree with the statement that attending a live performance is more enjoyable than watching the same event on TV. I prefer to watch any sport game or concert on TV. By doing so, I do not need to be concern about making noise. I can lie down and watch in my favorite match, too. Moreover, I can save my money and time. What about you? Do you agree with me?

TOEFL listening discussions: Why did the professor ask to see the student?

[Luschen]

Hi Bjeddi, welcome to the forum. I think you are off to a great start. Your writing is very clear and easy to understand, you have an effective essay structure, and you have addressed the topic well. I think your vocabulary is a little basic and you have quite a few short, choppy sentences. You also have some minor errors in grammar and usage here and there. Overall, I would rate this a 4 out of 5.

@Bjeddi

Hello. this is my first writing that I send to you. please evaluate it and say your opinion about it. thank you very much.

question: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Attending a live performance is more enjoyable than watching the same event on TV.

Some people like to attend live performances while others like to watch them on TV. From my experience, I feel that watching a performance on TV such as a concert or a sport game{“sporting event” is better] is more enjoyable than watching it live. The reasons are obvious. When I watch them on TV at home I can make any noise freely. in addition, I can sit [ i]n my favorite position. Most importantly, I do not want to waste my money on these things. {it sounds a little better if you can combine these reasons in one sentence with your thesis - maybe "I feel that watching a performance on TV such as a concert or a sporting even is more enjoyable than watching it live for the obvious reasons of comfort, freedom, and cost savings.} {you intro is ok, but a little basic. It might be nice to begin with some general statements about performances and/or tv}

First and foremost, I usually make a lot of noise when I watch a sport[ing] match. This is somewhat involuntarily. It helps me reduce my stress. This may be annoying for people around me in the stadium. They may get angry with my noise. I remember last time I went to watch a football game, I made such a noise that everyone started to nag me. I was forced to leave the place{“stadium” or “arena” would be less vague} after the first half. So, I prefer to watch sport games on TV at home.

Secondly, when you go to a theater or a concert you have to sit [ i]n your seat until [the show is finished] {it sort of sounded like “it” referred to your seat} it finishes. You are not allowed to leave your seat. This may be boring for me[, b]ecause I like to lie down when I am watching a film or listening to music.{“boring” is not quite the word you need here, maybe “overly restrictive”} On the other hand, if I watch it at home I could sit in my favorite position. In this regard, watching a performance on TV is more enjoyable for me than watching it live.

Last but not least, I think going to a concert or a theater is wasting [a waste] of time. You must spend two or three hours to watch a one hour performance. It is also waste of money. Is it reasonable that you pay 10$ [$10] for a concert while you can download or watch it on the Internet freely[for free]?

As I have illustrated, I disagree with the statement that attending a live performance is more enjoyable than watching the same event on TV. I prefer to watch any sport game{maybe “athletic event” to avoid repetition} or concert on TV. By doing so, I do not need to be concern[ed] about making noise. I can lie down and watch in my favorite match,{“match” is unclear to me here - what do you mean?} too. Moreover, I can save my money and time. What about you? Do you agree with me? {I am not sure these rhetorical questions are really appropriate here}

TOEFL listening discussions: Why did the professor ask to see the student?

[Bjeddi]

Dear Luschen, I really appreciate your help and your valuable comments. you are right, I use simple vocabularies and repeat each word several times. this is my problem in writing: my vocabulary range is not limited, but when I am writing an essay I can not find a synonym for a word and I am force to use a simple word in several sentences. latter when I look at my essay again I can change and replace repeated words easily. what do you suggest me to do?

[Luschen]

Hi Bejeddi, developing a good vocabulary and using your words correctly is one of the toughest challenges to writing good essays. I don’t really have any quick and easy tips though. I think reading a lot, especially magazine articles and essays, is the best way to build your vocabulary. You can also work on memorizing lists of synonyms for common adjectives, like big, small, good, bad, many, and few, as these concepts come up in nearly every essay.