Hi everybody. I prepare for Toefl. Can somebody help me to read my essay and give me a feedback about it. I have to know my mistakes. Please help me. Thank you. Here is my first essay:
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support.
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
Many students and their family think that sport and social activities are not important in students’ life. The only thing they need to attend classes where they get every knowledge to be successful in the future. However, I totally disagree with them and I believe that sport and social activity should be equal important than attending classes and libraries in college. Here are the reasons to support my opinion.
First of all, sport help students to live healthy life with less stress. The new environment without parents and lot of challenge causes stress in their life. Sport need for them to relax, forget their problem and get more energy to learn. Additionally, they can move and they can keep their body in good shape that is very important for their heath. When I was student I liked to swim, it always helped me to do not think about my homework and task.
Furthermore, social activities help them to meet with other students. They have chance to get friends and speak with other students in these events. Moreover, they can develop their social skill and that is also important in their career.
Finally, college can be more attractive if they offer sports and social activities for their student. It show that their goal is not just to give knowledge to the student. They want to ensure that students enjoy their college years. Many students like to choose college where they can do something outside the class. They have lot of opportunity not to be boring. Moreover, many parents encourage their children to go there because they know that university take care about their children after class.
Take all the factors into consideration, I insist my opinion that sport and social activities are as important as classes for students in college therefore university should get equal financial support for both things.
TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a professor and his assistant