Are public celebrations(like national holidays,festivals etc.)the waste of money?

[Mahdi]

Many people think that public celebrations ( like national holidays, festivals etc.) are the waste of mony and the government should spend those funds in a better way. Do you agree or disagree.

Nowadays lots of people in different countries take part in national holidays and different types of festivals. People usually participate in public celebration just for amusement and excitement. I believe that spending funds in these festivals are not wasting money and have some important advantages.

To begin, people often enjoy their free time by participating in street festivals like music festivals. Suppose that government do not spend money on these types of activity. So what people can do in their free time. They have to work from morning to night every day and they do not know how to spend their holidays. For instance, I have heard in some countries like china, the conditions is like that I mentioned. People work more that standard time and have a little exictement and amusement. One of my friend were student in university in beijing. His proffessor had wanted him to attend at university everyday even on holidays to work on his project.

Furthermore, national holidays and festivals have great cultural effects on people. Goverments held up these types of activities to exhibit the culture of their country rather than just amusement and excitement. Lots of turists around the world take part in these festivals to learn more about the cultuter of coutries which have travelled there. For exapmle I took part in a music festival which held up by two famous signers of turkey when I travelled to istanbul last month. It had a great impact on my view about turkish people culture.

Ton sum up, I belive that removing art festivals and national holidays will have negative effects.In countries which these types of programs held up people are more energitic.

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a student and his counselor

[Luschen]

Sorry. I am on vacation this week. It will probably be Sunday before I can check this.

[Luschen]

Hi Mahdi, not too bad, but please be careful about your spelling errors.
Also, you have gone partway in each of your body paragraphs, but I think you still need to go a little further to really drive home your points and “connect all the dots”
for your reader.

@Mahdi

Many people think that public celebrations ( like national holidays, festivals etc.) are the waste of mony and the government should spend those funds in a better way. Do you agree or disagree.

Nowadays lots of people in different countries take part in national holidays and different types of festivals. People usually participate in public celebration[s ] just for amusement and excitement. I believe that spending funds in {“on” or “for” are better} these festivals [is] {the subject is the singular “spending”} not wasting money and ha[s ] some important advantages.

To begin, people often enjoy their free time by participating in street festivals like music festivals. Suppose that government do[es] not spend money on these types of activity. So what [can] people can do in their free time[? ] They have to work from morning to night every day and they do not know how to spend their holidays. For instance, I have heard in some countries like [ C]hina, the conditions [are] like th[ose] I mentioned. People work more tha[n the] standard time {“standard time” sounds a bit odd here - maybe “more than the standard work hours”} and have a little {“a little” is a positive phrase, it actually means “some” - “little” alone is the negative phrase you need here} [excitement] and amusement. One of my friend[s was a] student in university in [B]eijing. His [professor] had wanted {use past perfect only when talking about something that happened further in the past than something else} him to attend at university [every day] {“everyday” is the adjective} [, ]even on holidays[,] to work on his project. {I think you have to go one more step in this paragraph and show why working more than the typical hours or not taking holidays is a bad thing - maybe it is detrimental to your health, or eventually you will get burned out and not be able to work very efficiently}

Furthermore, national holidays and festivals have great cultural effects on people. Goverments held up {“held up” sounds odd here} these types of activities to exhibit the culture of their country rather than just [for] amusement and excitement. Lots of [tourists] around the world take part in these festivals to learn more about the [culture] of [countries] [to] which [they] have travelled there. For [example] I took part in a music festival which held up by [featured] {the government is the one who “held the festival”, not “held up”} two famous [singers] of [ T]urkey {“famous Turkish singers” is better} when I travelled to [ I]stanbul last month. It had a great impact on my view about [T]urkish people['s] culture. {once again, try to state why learning about other cultures is helpful or a good thing - maybe world peace and friendship, or increasing your knowledge in ways beyond just reading about them in books}

[T] sum up, I [believe] that removing art festivals and national holidays will have negative effects.In countries [in] which these types of programs[ are] held[,] up people are more [energetic].

TOEFL listening discussions: A conversation between a student and his counselor