Always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship

English as a Second Language Preparation for and help with the TOEFL® Test and
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Always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship between people.

I like to think that honesty is the foundation that’s built by people in order to construct healthy relationships. These days, however, we live in a world that’s far from perfect, and in which honesty is not one of the major factors we use in our daily lives. In many occasions we find ourselves lying, in others we are faced with the need to tell a little lie, in order to prevent hurting the people we love. Not everyone lies, there are some of us who try to be sincere, and honest regardless of the consequences. Telling the truth is vital in any relationship especially that of a friendship, and marriage.

Marriage is a long term commitment we make to the person we love. This relationship should be based on love, loyalty, communication, and all of those characteristics that we need in our relationship, but more importantly it should be based on sincerity. Sometimes we see ourselves faced with the dilemma of being honest, omitting something, or having to tell a lie. It is not the best way to build a constructive relationship, however, in some occasion this little lies can be forgiven depending of the situation in which it occurs. If we tell someone they look good just to make them happy, it is a lie that can be forgiven.

For instance, a co- worker asks you, how does her hair looks? Are you going to tell her it looks bad? Or will you just simply imply it looks good, knowing it does not? In this occasion I choose to tell a little lie because I don’t want to make her sad. On the other hand, if she is someone who is close to me, a family member or a very close friend I will definitely tell her it looks bad. Friendship should be based on trust and honesty, in order to have a friend you have to be a friend. If you want people to be honest with you, you have to give honesty in return.

In other words, we should always have in mind that telling the truth is the best way to build new relationships, and keep existing ones. Our lives should be based on the ability to be sincere with everyone around us. There is no need to lie, even those little lies mentioned above can be controlled if we omit our responses. In addition, we should not give compliments if we don’t believe they are true.

TOEFL listening lectures: A lecture from an american literature class

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You just keep on getting better!

Kitos.

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At this moment I’m clapping my hands. That’s great. To write an article like this the first thing you need to have is a big character. Congratulations Yamilet, one more time you presented us with a rich essay. :wink:

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Thank you guys
I actually didn’t like it very much, i thought it didn’t have major ideas, something that’s really important. But if you say is good, then it is good haha
Thanks so much.

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Hi miss diligent.
Perfect essay, in my opinion, enjoyable for reading.
However, I have some point and suggestions that are listed bellow:

1-that’s (that is=in writing)
2-Not everyone lies, (lies;)there are some of us who try to be sincere, and honest regardless of the consequences.
3-Telling the truth is vital in any relationship especially that (one is going to be) of a friendship, (or) and marriage.
4-in some occasion (on some occasion or occasions) this little lies can be forgiven depending of (depending on) the situation in which it occurs.
5- You have used occasion 2-3 times, and it isn’t acceptable to use repetitive phrase or words a lot. You could use: “in … circumstances” and “under … circumstances”
6- A very close friend (an intimate friend of mine) I will (would) definitely tell her it looks bad.
7-even those little lies mentioned above (those above-mentioned lies or those lies that are mentioned above) can be controlled if we omit our responses.(omit to do something, omit to excuse)
8-since you are going to be an expert in writing, you are not expected to use simple words such as: good, bad, and sad a lot.
Try to find alternative words for them such as: acceptable, desirable, pleasurable, upset……
9-“In addition, we should not give compliments if we don’t believe they are true.” By this sentence at the end of your essay you changed your viewpoint, because of generally speaking, you had told before that it should happen just in some cases, you should have mentioned it in your supportive paragraphs and make it clear that whether the advantages of this demeanor outweigh the disadvantages or not.

Good luck with your writing and let me now if I make a mistake.

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Good morning Richard.

I don’t think the intention of Yamilet is to become an expert writer, as you so quaintly put it. :slight_smile: :slight_smile:

Yamilet writes from the heart and from the very clear mind that conjures the images that she allows us to share.

Her writings are remarkable for a non-native speaker, and I’m sure that many “expert” writers wish that they could find the words that she oftimes uses to describe her inner feelings.

I think some fool once advised her to keep it simple and interesting.LOL.

She followed the suggestion to the letter, and now you are advocating that she should seek more educated text?

My intention is not to criticise your remark, but perhaps if you were to read all of her essays you would come to appreciate just how far she has travelled to reach her present standard.

I don’t give a damn as to her grammatical composition, just so long as she continues to write her many heartfelt essays.

Kitos.
:slight_smile:

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Hi Kitos, morning.
Yes. I quite agree. Her essays could attract any reader.

(As far as I am aware, cohesiveness, showing the organization of the discussion of the topic, answer to question, comprehensibility, grammar and vocabulary are criteria for getting high score in academic writings. Therefore, one of the top priorities that should be contemplated before writing is keeping in mind these crucial factors. So one who is expected to pass or get a high score in TOEFL or IELTS or other exams should pay attention to these five criteria. One might not get a high score because of her/his life story or writing an interesting story, however, it might depend on the reader mood and interests. Frankly speaking, if we love someone, we’ll definitely love his or her writing, speaking, and so on. This is the matter of fact. LOL. Moreover, I suppose that females are sensitive, so they can personalize their essays as well and they can take out their sense by writing or speaking.)

She is good at writing by the way. Since she is going to take the exam in the next two weeks she should relax. There is nothing to be worry about. I just mentioned some of my viewpoints that those are not outstanding importance beside all those nice factors. We are not perfect in English, that’s why we are here. And you are supposed to help us, we’ll appreciate it.
:wink:

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I don’t know what to say here :o
I thank you both in your own ways, and points of view.
each of you want to help me in your own ways, and that is highly appreciated
At this point, i’m quit nervous, I have been studying since may, now i’m 2 weeks away and I feel, stressed and anxious.Something that’s not normal on me
since i take life as it comes, and i’m very confident. Today i don’t feel confident at all haha. So it helps me a lot to read your comments, and see that you guys believe on me, even though right now i don’t believe in myself. Thank you from the bottom of my heart and god bless you all.

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Yamilet, I just want to tell you that you have no reasons to be nervous and less confident. I have read most of your essays and I am sure that you are going to pass with flying colors.

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Thank you so much sweetheart, I hope so.

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Dear Yamilet, relax, you will sail through this exam. Your appreciation and vocabulary are indeed high, higher than most who have already passed the test.

I do not wish to refute one word of Richard’s point of view, but it all revolves around just to what extent and degree that you wish to attain.

If you wish to be considered for secretarial work, or an even higher position, he is absolutely correct, but if you wish to converse and communicate with English-speaking people, then I would suggest that your grasp of the essential grammar and sentence structure would put most to shame.

Relax. You will sail through, and with high marks at that.

Kitos.

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Thank you so much Kitos.
I’m starting to feel like i can do this.
I hope not to dissapoint all of you and especially not to dissapoint my friend who has been working with me this whole time.
and i sure don’t want to be dissapointed either haha.
Thanks

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Just remember what the Kito’s grandmother said; “If you think that you can, you are right. If you think that you cant, you are right too”. Think positively and then you’ll get good results. Good luck Yamilet

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[color=blue]Hello. It’s my first essay for Toefl and though I have read the guidelines, I’m not sure whether my essay is good or not. I would really appreciate it if someone could give me some advice. Thank you.

Topic:Always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationship

Essay:Though a majority of people consider that telling the truth is an essential component in the mechanism of any lasting relationship, there are certain situations in which masking certain aspects may turn out to be a better choice. However, there are many shades of grey when it comes to deciding the parts that should be left out.
When a person asks oneself “what is the most important thing in my relationship?” the answer varies depending on his/her previous relationships, moral values, educational background etc.
In my case, honesty is the most important consideration in a relationship, closely followed by reliability, trust and respect. I have always had a great deal of respect for people that told the truth, regardless of how much it would hurt me, rather than hiding it and me finding out later from other sources. Once I loose confidence in a person, it is practically impossible to regain it, because I will always have a sense of insecurity when it came to that person. Even though I can forgive one’s mistakes, I never forget them, and once my trust is lost, it can never be gained back.
However, there are certain situations, such as marriage, in which children may be involved, where compromising is necessary. I consider that if in such a case a person makes a mistake that may have repercussions on the future of the children, that he/she should think twice before telling the truth and the impact it may have on other people’s lives.
In conclusion, always telling the truth in a relationship is a subjective matter for each and every person. For me, real life situations have taught me that people are unpredictable and most of the times disappointing, but that adhering to strong, solid principles is better and safer than deciding what parts to leave out and parts of the truth to keep.