[agree or disagree] At universities, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

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#1

In our school days, we should not only spend our time on studies, but we should also put more emphasis on sports and social activities, for example, ask the school to donate equal financial support on them.

Many somebodies would encourage graduates that they need to strike the balance between work and play in their graduation ceremony, and so do we, as undergraduate or graduate students.

There are several reasons I want to support my belief. Firstly, sports can release our stress gaining from studies. it is unbelievably overwhelming when we prepared midterm or final exams, and even thesis. Playing sports somewhat makes us more cheerful and we can gain power after sports. Take myself for example, when I feel depressed, I will play basketball with friends, during we play, I can only pay attention to what I do instead of thinking about trivial fuss bothering me. Also, social activities help me in the same way. While I am chatting with them, I can learn different perspective to see things. Sometimes, they will never know that what they said really encourage me to keep going on.

Secondly, sports and social activities train our interpersonal skills in various aspects, such as communication skills, teamwork, and interaction with difficult people. There is the on-going trend for us to have group presentations several times in a semester. If we know how to get along with acquaintances through playing together, for sure, we will gain benefits from them and also train ourselves to become more sociable.

Last, sports and social activities could reduce our dependence on electronic devices, which make us more healthy and do something meaningful rather than waste our precious time to browse online or chat with people through social media in the virtual world but lose the real social ability in the reality.


I would like to know what scores I will get?
Many thanks!

Jeany from Taiwan.


#2

Hi Yachuen, welcome to the forum! Your writing is pretty clear and you don’t have that many grammatical mistakes, but I don’t think your essay addresses the prompt directly enough. You have really written an essay on “what are the benefits of sports?” But this is not the actual question. The focus of your essay should be on whether sports and social activities should receive as much financial support as academic facilities like classrooms and libraries. You did not really discuss this financial aspect much at all. It is vitally important to always address the topic as directly as possible, since if you don’t respond correctly it doesn’t matter how well you write. That said, you did have some awkward sounding phrases and a few confusing sentences. Here are some specifics:


#3

Thank you Luschen,
Your advice is helpful to me, and I will revise the article these days,and then I hope at that time, you would have free time to correct my essay! I appreciate your kind assistance. :yum:


#4

Hi, as a Taiwanese student, are you familiar with this recent controversy?